


Griffin's Anatomy

by Writeaboutusalex



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grey's Anatomy, Don't Judge Me, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:19:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9853391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writeaboutusalex/pseuds/Writeaboutusalex
Summary: The 100 Character's in Greys Anatomy. That's it.





	1. A Hard Day's Night

**Author's Note:**

> The title sucks, yeah, but at least you know what you're getting into with just that. Don't know why I wrote it. Not very creative, I mean most of it is direct dialogue from the show, but it was fun. Enjoy!

**_The game. They say a person either has what it takes to play. Or they don’t. My mother was one of the greats. Me on the other hand… I’m kinda screwed._ **

 

A slight haze consumes her mind, the kind that only comes from the nastiest of hangovers. This is rather unfortunate considering it’s her first day at her new job in a new, well, not _new_ new, but sorta new, city.

 

A mop of frizzy blonde hair burrows deeper into the pillow on the couch, groaning loudly into it before sitting up.

 

Clarke Griffin regrets the last 3 shots of tequila now that the rays of sunlight beam through the window. How could she have been so irresponsible? Getting drunk the night before her first 48 hour shift as a surgical intern? Her mom would be so proud.

 

It’s a good thing her mom wasn’t here to see her now. Especially because she is stark naked and an equally as naked woman is on the ground next to her. The fact that she’s a woman is not the problem. The fact that she’s a stranger however? Yeah, that wouldn’t sit well.

 

Clarke hates dealing with the morning after routine. Kicking people out of her bed and home felt rude, but sometimes people didn’t get the hint. Like why on earth did the woman even sleep over?

 

Sure, they were both in no state to drive, but a left could have been ordered. It’s called common courtesy.

 

The brunette was fast asleep on the ground, her face on one of her mothers favorite pillows. And she’s drooling on it. Yup. Great way to start the morning.

 

Clarke gingerly sneaks the blanket off the top of the brunette and takes another pillow off the couch, dropping it on the woman backside. What was her name again?

 

This startles the woman slightly, Clarke almost feels bad, because she did look kind of cute, asleep there on the ground. Now the brunette scrunches up her face and winces away from the sunlight. At least she isn’t the only one suffering the after effects of the alcohol.

 

Clarke makes her way around the living room, picking up her scattered clothes that were removed hastily the night before. She’s going to be late for work if she doesn’t hurry.

 

“This is…” The brunette picks up a black bra and holds it out to Clarke. Was she even wearing a black bra last night?

 

“Humiliating,” Clarke finishes the sentence for her, snatching the bra out of her outstretched hand. “On so many levels,” She forces an awkward smile. “You have to go”.

 

The brunette sits up, smirking, looking disheveled in a way that actually looks sexy. Opposite of what Clarke feels in this exact moment.

 

“Why don’t you just come back down here and we can pick up where we left off?” The brunette offers with a raise of her brow and a confidence that Clarke remembers finding charming. Right now it’s annoying.

 

“No seriously,” Clarke tosses the woman her dress “You have to go. I’m going to be late. Which really ins’t what you want on your first day so…”

 

The woman nods, but doesn’t seem to get the hint that Clarke REALLY needs her to go.As in now.

 

“So, uh, you actually live here?”

 

They both look around the house. There are boxes everywhere and it seems more like the home of a spinster than one of a 28 year old.

 

The woman has the decency to begin to put on her clothes as she continues to converse.

 

“No,” Clarke is quick to respond

 

“Oh,” The brunette furrows her brow in slight confusion.

 

“Yes,” She changes her answer, but that’s not true either. “Kind of”.

 

“Oh” The brunette reaches back to zip up her own dress. It’s impressive. 

 

“It’s nice. Little dusty. Odd. But its nice”. She takes another look around the house, odd sorts of items sticking out of boxes, so she settles her gaze back on Clarke. “So how do you kind of live here?”

 

“I moved two weeks ago from San Francisco. It was my mothers house, I’m selling it.” Clarke explains, pulling the blanket around herself a little tighter. Now that this woman is dressed and she is the only one without clothes it feels really uncomfortable.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman sounds genuinely sympathetic.

 

“For what?” Clarke is beginning to grow impatient and more uncomfortable with each passing second.

 

“You said was…” 

 

“Oh!” Clarke just now realizes how it sounds. “My mothers not dead. She’s-” the blonde catches herself here. It’s not the sort of of thing she wants to talk about with anyone, let alone a literal stranger.

 

“You know what? We don't have to do the thing” Clarke continues instead.

 

“Oh,” The woman moves a few scattered items off the ground to find her heels. “We can do anything you want” She offers with a slight smirk.

 

“No, the thing where we exchange the details. Pretend we care,” Clarke explains. This seems to amuse the brunette.

 

“Look, i’m going to go upstairs and take a shower and when I get back down, you won’t be here,” the blonde decides enough is enough. As cute and sexy this woman is, she really needs to be on time to work.

 

“Goodbye ummm….” She chastises herself for not knowing the woman’s name. I mean, really, was she really going to be _that_ person?

 

The woman stands there, taking both heels into her hand, an amused smile on her face. She realizes Clarke can’t remember her name so she takes the heels in one hand and reaches her right hand out to her.

 

“Lexa,” the brunette supplies, her green eyes shining brightly. Clarke gets lost in them for a moment. She catches herself and clears her throat.

 

“Right. Clarke,” the blonde laughs, not being able to suppress her own smile.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa repeats, like she’s testing how it sounds. “Nice meeting you”.

 

“Bye Lexa” Clarke scurries up the stairs, away from the woman in her living room. She still has a smile on her face when she hops into the shower.

 

* * *

 

Somehow Clarke manages being only a hair late. She catches up with the rest of the surgical interns just as a tall, tough looking man meets them. She recognizes the man almost instantly. Dr. Marcus Kane, the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace, and one of her mothers oldest and dearest friends.

 

The Chief takes them on the tour of the hospital so they don’t get lost on their first day. But they’re really itching to get to the surgical rooms.

 

Dr. Kane seems to sense this of all his students. It’s not his first rodeo after all. So he takes them there last. Delivering the most important speech they will hear.

 

“Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school, being taught by Doctors. Today, you are the Doctors. The seven years you will spend her as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to a breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play, that’s up to you”

 

The interns all look around at each other. Sizing up who will be the ones to crack, who will switch, who will make it through. Though everyone here thinks they will be the one, some of them look like they are starting to have their doubts.

 

**_Like I said, I’m screwed._ **

 

* * *

 

After the tour, they all head to the locker room to change into their scrub and coats. During the mixer, they were all assigned lockers. Clarke doesn’t remember most of that night, but she does remember where her locker is. She remembers it was next to the very confident Latina who is now tying her hair up into a ponytail.

 

“Only six women out of twenty,” the blonde notes, looking around the room. It lacks diversity, that’s for sure.

 

The Latina looks Clarke over, sizing her up. Friend? Ally? Whatever she see’s, it’s enough to continue the conversation.

 

“Yeah, I hear one of them is a model. Seriously, like that’s going to help with the respect thing”. She shoves large clunky boots into her locker before slipping on something a bit more comfortable onto her feet.

 

“You’re Raven right?” Clarke asks the woman, deciding it’s best to stick with someone and Raven seems like a good fit.

 

“Yeah,” Raven seems to be thinking along the same lines as Clarke. “Which resident you assigned to? I got Indra”

 

“The Drill Sergeant? Yeah, me too” Clarke breathes a slight sigh of relief, at least she’ll know someone on her first 48 hour shift.

 

“You got the Sargeant?” The awkward guy who kept trying to hit on her butts into their conversation. “So did I, at least we’ll be tortured together right?” He laughs, to which Clarke and Raven offer a polite smile in return.

 

“I’m Jasper. Jordan. Jasper Jordan, we met at the mixer,” he’s so painfully awkward he nearly trips over himself trying to approach them and then proceeds to struggle placing his own stethoscope around his own neck.

 

“We met at the uh, mixer” he adds, probably not wanting to sound creepy, but Raven is already raising her eyebrows at Clarke, trying to hold back her laughter.

 

“You had on that black dress, slit on the side with scrappy sandals” he offers up the information. One step forward, two steps back on that creepy meter buddy. Even Raven looks a little confused.

 

“Now you think I’m gay,” He rambles on even more awkwardly. Clarke takes this time to tie up her own hair, trying to busy herself. “No, I’m not gay”

 

“Uh huh,” Raven sounds unconvinced, but she’s ready so she removes herself from the conversation. So much for having an Ally.

 

“It’s just you were very, unforgettable” he offers the explanation a bit more smoothly now without an audience. Clarke offers him a polite smile, she’s not quite sure how to respond, but thankfully she’s saved.

 

“Griffin. Reyes. Jordan. Blake.” The names are listed off. Clarke turns her full attention to what’s about to come. She wants to be prepared.

 

She follows Raven to the Doctor who called out their name.

 

“Indra,” She states the name proudly, like it’s a badge to wear.

 

“End of the hall,” he replies in a bored tone.

 

“That’s the Drill Sergeant?” Raven asks, looking unimpressed. Just down the hall is a short, pleasant looking woman speaking with a nurse.

 

“Thought the Sergeant would be a man” Jasper adds, earning eye rolls from the rest of the women in his group.

 

“I thought the Drill Sergeantwould be a … Drill Sergeant ” Clarke adds, also feeling a slight twinge of disappointment.

 

“Maybe it’s professional jealousy. Maybe she’s brilliant and they call her Drill Sergeant because they’re jealous,” By process of elimination this must be Blake. She’s short, but Clarke can already tell she makes up for it in tenacity, storming past them to lead the group. “Maybe she’s nice”

 

“Let me guess,” Raven looks Blake up and down unimpressed “You’re the model”.

 

The girl turns slightly to glare at Raven before proceeding to Indra.

 

“Hi” She smiles brightly at the woman who will be giving them the most important education of their career. “I’m Octavia Blake, but everyone calls me O” She offers her hand out to Indra who simply looks down at it, as if wondering what she is supposed to do with this information. She looks at her hand a moment longer before ignoring her and starting her own speech.

 

“I have 5 rules. Memorize them,” She states without emotion. “Rule number one. Don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that isn’t going to change.” She points to a variety of items on the nurse’s desk in front of them 

 

“Trauma protocols, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule number two.” She looks at them very seriously, as if their life depends on these first two rules. Then she starts off, continue her lecture at them, leaving them to grab all the items left behind. Including a pager for each.

 

“Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second, every night till you drop and don't complain!” She leads them down a hallway and Clarke can’t help but already feel lost with how enormous this hospital is.

 

Indra stops short at a door with almost no warning. Everyone stumbles over each other so as to not crash into their teacher. She opens the door and flips a light switch on, revealing a set of bunks in a room.

 

“On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying” Everyone looks around attentively. Jasper is taking notes while Raven seems she is metaling burning everyone word into her memory. Octavia simply looks happy to be tagging along, not finding Indra intimidating at all. Not like Clarke does at least. 

 

“Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woken me for no good reason, we clear?” Clarke understands it’s a rhetorical question, but she needs to make some sort of impression like the rest of her fellow interns. So she raises her hand. Indra stares at the hand like maybe she will intimidate the woman to put it back down, but Clarke stands her ground.

 

“Yes?” Indra asks.

 

“You said five rules. That was only four,” Clarke wonders if anyone else noticed. Indra’s pager beeps, cuing the perfect opportunity for the next rule.

 

“Rule number five. When I move, you move,” Indra starts at a run down the hallway, her interns close at her heels. She actually shoves a few Doctors and nurses aside. “Get out of my way!”

 

Indra leads them to an elevator, where the fast pace comes to a momentary halt, that is until they realize they are headed for the helicopter pad. They all look around at each there giddily, they are behind Indra, just out of eye line, so they all feel it’s appropriate to exchange smiles.

 

The stretcher they grabbed just before boarding the elevator is lead by Clarke, pushing it up to greet the oncoming helicopter.

 

“What do we got?” Indra yells so she can be heard over the noise.

 

“Katie Bryce, fifteen-year-old female, new onset seizures, intermittent for the past week, ID lost en route, started grand mal seizing as we descended,” the paramedic informs them as she is moved onto the stretcher and back into the hospital.

 

The young girl is seizing the whole way down to a trauma room, when they finally get there, Indra barks orders.

 

“All right, get her on her side, Octavia, ten milligrams Diazepam,” she’s calm in her demeanor but very serious. Clarke takes the young girl, turning her on her side with the help of Raven, Jasper looks a little overwhelmed but pushes through. Apparently Clarke is doing something wrong because-

 

“no, no, the white lead is on the right, righty whitey, smoke over fire, a large bore I.V. don't let the blood haemolyse, let's go!” Indra, despite being impatient, has a quick, stern way of teaching.

 

Octavia injects the girl and almost immediately stops seizing.

 

A new Doctor enters, young, handsome and in charge. He chews gum as if its just another day in the office, he’s very confident in his mannerisms. Octavia recoils away from him, a fact that Clarke notes and reminds herself to bring up later.

 

“So I heard we got a wet fish on dry land?” He takes a chart out of someone’s hand, reading it over with ease. He missed the whole struggle of pinning the girl down and injecting her. He gets here for the easy part.

 

“Absolutely Dr. Blake,” Indra nods her head, looking over the patient. All interns, save for Octavia’s, eyes widen and the name. There’s a slight resemblance there, but no one says a word. Well there’s no reason for Clarke to ask about the reaction now. It has to be a family thing. If there’s one thing that Clarke understand about not wanting to talk about, it’s family. So she drops it.

 

“Indra, I'm gonna shotgun her,” Dr. Blake, the eldest, orders it with one look of the file.

 

“That means every test in the book, CT, CBC, chem. seven, a tox screen,” She lists them off quickly.“Raven, you're on labs, Jasper, patient workups, Clarke, get Katie for a CT, she's your responsibility now”. 

 

Clarke takes this as a challenge she’s ready to meet. Indra is already leaving the room when Octavia speaks up.

 

“Wait, what about me?” She asks, also ready to take on a challenge.

 

“You-” Indra looks Octavia up and down again“-honey, you get to do rectal exams,” Their teacher removes her gloves, tosses them in the trash and laughs to herself before leaving.

 

 

* * *

 

Clarke has always been prone to getting lost. She once got lost in a shopping mall and cried for hours, something her mother never let her live down. It seems her first day as a surgical intern is going to feel about the same as that day.

 

Katie had seemed much kinder seizing and unconscious. Now she’s downright aggravating. As much as Clarke likes to pretend she’s in charge in every situation, she’s about to admit defeat and ask someone when Katie speaks up.

 

“You’re lost,” so Clarke juts her chin out and continues on searching without asking for help.

 

“I'm not lost. How are you feeling?” She asks the young girl instead, she knows Dr. Kane showed them where CT was, but now she can’t remember how to get there.

 

“How do you think I'm feeling? I'm missing my pageant,” Clarke wants to roll her eyes, but settles on wheeling her out of the elevator and around another corner.

 

“You’re missing your pageant” Clarke repeats dully.

 

“The Spokane Teen Miss? I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This is my year. I could've won” Katie explains, the sits up when she realizes Clarke is wheeling her back the same way. “Hello? You're so lost. What are you, like, new?”

 

Clarke wonders how Octavia is faring, she’d prefer performing rectal exams to this girl.

 

* * *

 

It’s nearly 6 hours later when they are finally allowed a break to eat. They all seem to find the cafeteria okay. Jasper sets his tray down next to Octavia who hasn’t touched her sandwich and instead looks like she’s going to be sick.

 

“This shift is a marathon, not a sprint, eat,” he tells her kindly.

 

“I can’t,” She speaks into her hand, turning away from her food.

 

“You should eat something,” he nods down to her untouched sandwich.

 

“You try eating after performing seventeen rectal exams. The Drill Sergeant hates me,” She pushes her hair of her face and sits back in her chair, huffing out an exhausted breath.

 

“The Drill Sergeant's a resident. I have attendings hating me,” Jasper offers his suffering up for measurement. 

 

“You know Clarke is inbred?” Raven states suddenly from her seat across from Octavia, who shifts uncomfortably in her seat at the topic of conversation.

 

“Like it's uncommon around here to be a doctor's -“ Jasper begins, glancing over at Octavia, but Raven waves this off as if it is bigger news than a Resident having an intern sister.

 

“No, I mean royally inbred. Her mother is Abby Griffin,” Raven states excitedly, like the name means something. It seems to mean something to Octavia as well, though she could just prefer someone else’s family in the limelight.

 

“Shut up. THE Abby Griffin?” She leans forward to whisper it.

 

“Who’s Abby Griffin?” Jasper asks, looking out of the loop. Raven and Octavia laugh.

 

“Who’s Abby Griffin?” Raven looks offended “Where did you go to med school?”

 

“She was one of the first big chick surgeons, she practically invented the abdominal-“ Octavia begins, but Raven doesn’t seem to think her words are enough.

 

“She's a living legend, she won the Harper Jaha. Twice.” Raven looks at him in disgust for not knowing the information.

 

“So I didn't know one thing,” Jasper mumbles, embarrassed.

 

“Talk about parental pressure,” Octavia breathes, getting lost in her own train of thought.

 

“I would kill to have Abby Griffin as a mother. I would kill to be Abby Griffin,” Raven states dramatically, but clamps her mouth shut when she notices Clarke approaching with her own lunch tray.

 

“Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass. If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic oath, I'd Kevorkian her with my bare hands,” Clarke slams her tray down on the table next to Octavia. When everyone turns to stare at her, she wonders if she came off too strong.

 

“What?” They go back to eating their lunches instead of answering her question.

 

Octavia slinks in her chair when Dr. Blake approaches with a scrub cap on his head.

 

“Good afternoon interns. It's posted, but I thought I'd share the good news personally. As you know, the honor of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise.” Dr. Blake stands just behind Octavia, everyone’s eyes keep flickering between the two of them, but at these words everyone, including Octavia, straightens in their seats. 

 

“As I'm running the OR today, I get to make that choice.” He claps Jasper on the back with a friendly smile. Everyone looks at the man, confused. “Jasper Jordan. You'll scrub in for an appendectomy this afternoon. Congratulations,” Dr. Blake leaves with one last linger look at Octavia before leaving.

 

“Me?” Jasper finally speaks up, but Dr. Blake is already gone and everyone has gone back to eating.

 

“Did he say me?” He questions again, dumbfounded.

 

 

* * *

 

It’s official Clarke can’t stand Katie Bryce. She feels for her, sure. I mean being 16 is hard enough without adding unexplained seizures into the mix. 

 

Now all Clarke has to do is wait. Wait for her parents to get there so she no longer has to listen to her going on and on about missing the pageant she was sure to win.

 

Finally they arrive, but they keep asking her questions. A series of questions that Clarke isn't even sure she is allowed to answer without a superior present.

 

“Well she’s um,she’s, um, well, you know what, I'm not, I'm not the doctor, uh, I'm a doctor, but I'm not Katie's doctor, so I'll go get him for you,” She wants to hit herself for sounding so stupid, but instead she backs out slowly out of the room. 

 

Now to find Indra.

 

She nearly crashes right into her at the first door she goes through. She stops and looks at her, wanting to ask a question, but being unable to get the words out.

 

“What?” Indra barks at her.

 

“Katie's parents have questions. Do you talk to them, or do I ask Blake? Um. Dr. Blake, the boy,” She stumbles over her words, but then stands tall. If she’s going to make a fool of herself, the least she can do is have good posture while doing it.

 

“No, Blake’s… the boy” Indra parrots Clarke’s words back to her slowly“-off the case, Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr. Woods, over there,” Indra points in the direction of a group of Doctors in attending scrubs.

 

She moves forward to call Dr. Woods attention, but one Doctor steps away from the conversation, revealing a familiar face, with wavy brown hair falling off her shoulders.

 

Clarke stops dead in her tracks, her eyes widening at the realization. The same green eyes that had her so mesmerized this morning. It’s Lexa.

 

Said women looks up from the chart she is looking at and momentarily catches Clarke’s eye before looking back down. She too makes the connection almost immediately and looks back up with the same dumbfounded shock Clark seems to be feeling.

 

The blonde turns on her heel and finds the nearest exit, hoping if she runs fast enough, she can ignore this situation all together.

 

 

 

 


	2. Fools Rush In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and the rest of the interns finish their first 48 hour shift.

She was supposed to be getting her life on track. She had taken enough time out of her life to fuck up. She even took time right after Med School to travel the world. She did that for 18 months and now… Well she was supposed to be getting her life on track.

 

It’s not that Clarke doesn’t love being a surgeon, why else would she put herself through all that schooling? She’s just as scalpel hungry as the rest of her fellow interns, but she never wanted to come back home to complete her residency. Too much history here. The only way she was even able to get the job here, however, was because of her mothers connections with Chief Kane. Plus the other circumstances…

 

So yeah, Seattle was supposed to be home of the new and improved Clarke Griffin. She wasn’t supposed to get bored at the work mixer, walk across the street to the nearest bar, drink herself stupid, then take some random chick home. It would have been okay of it had just stayed a one night stand. But with Clarke’s luck, it turned out her one night stand was practically her boss.

 

“Clarke!”

 

The blonde had taken the nearest escape route via the stairwell, but apparently she’s been caught.

 

“Clarke wait!” Lexa calls out again.

 

“No!” Clarke calls back breathlessly over her shoulder. Lexa has caught up to her and doesn’t seem out of breath at all.

 

“No?” The doctor sounds amused by this whole situation.

 

“No!” Clarke stands firm, looking around the stairwell ensuring they are the only ones there. “This cannot be happening!”

 

“You weren't complaining yesterday,” Lexa sounds smug.

 

“Stop!” Clarke holds her hand out in front of Lexa’s face. The brunette nearly goes crosseyed looking at it.

 

“We have to keep this professional. You were supposed to be…" Clarke struggles for the right words.

 

“A random hookup?” Lexa supplies arching a challenging eyebrow. The smug smile never leaves her lips.

 

“Right,” Clarke nods once, crossing her arms petulantly across her chest. She will not give in to Lexa, no matter how infuriatingly cute she is.

 

“That seems unfair,” Lexa purses her lips, mirroring Clarke by crossing her arms.

 

“Unfair? Clarke sputters, it’s the last thing she anticipated hearing from the surgeon.

 

“Yes,” Lexa tells her seriously. “I was at Monty’s, minding my own business. Having a beer after work and you walk in…” Lexa begins her narrative. “I never stood a chance. When you set your sights on me-”

 

“Set my sights?” Clarke interrupts.

 

“I was vulnerable,” Lexa continues without pause “good looking and drunk”.

 

“God, you’re so full of yourself!" Clarke laughs, shaking her head, uncrossing her arms, successfully charmed by the Doctor in front of her.

 

Lexa, tight lipped, holding back a smile, has her gaze fixated on Clarke. 

 

“Stop that,” Clarke barely suppresses the smile. It’s always flattering to be checked out by someone as good looking as Lexa.

 

“What?” this time Lexa laughs. Clarke decides it’s a very nice sound she wouldn’t mind hearing again. Lexa’s gaze doesn’t become any less intense.

 

“That! Looking at me like you’ve seen me naked!” Clarke explains, taking a step back. Lexa opens her mouth to speak.

 

“No!” Clarke is quick to shut her down whatever crude thing Lexa was about to say. 

 

Lexa snaps her mouth shut choosing to laugh instead.

 

“Go out with me,” Lexa takes the shot.

 

“Are you telling me? Or asking me?” Clarke asks, narrowing her eyes.

 

“Suggesting,” Lexa scrunches her nose slightly at the word.

 

Clarke almost considers it for a moment. She allows herself to imagine what it would be like. It’s a nice thought.

 

“No,” Clarke begins her march back up the stairs. It’s so sudden, Lexa falls behind, surprised by her response.

 

“Is that the only word you know?” Lexa recovers.

 

“We can’t ok? You’re practically my boss,” Clarke stops at the next floor. Her hand on the doorknob.

 

“There’s no rule against it,” Lexa points out.

 

“But it’s not encouraged either,’ Clarke snaps back.

 

“Clarke”.

 

“That’s my answer Dr. Woods. This is inappropriate. Katie Bryce’s parents have questions,” for the second time that day Clarke leaves Lexa, literally running away from her problems at hand.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke has always been good at running away. She ran away from home the day her father died. Ran away when she got stood up for prom. She ran away again when it came to choosing an internship.

 

She couldn’t run away any longer, but it was still habit. Luckily, Clarke actually had somewhere to run to this time. Jasper has his surgery and everyone is invited to the observation gallery.

 

Clarke takes her seat next to Raven in the front. Raven glances up to Clarke briefly then turns her attention back to Jasper who looks like a child standing next to Dr. Blake.

 

“He’s going to faint. Look at him,” some intern to Clarke’s left comments. The blonde turns to glare at him blatantly.

 

“Move,” she orders him. Octavia enters, so she waves her over. “This seat is saved”.

 

“I was here first,” he argues, but Octavia stands before him expectantly, he refuses to move.

 

Then Raven leans over Clarke, all three women glaring at him is enough for him to waiver. He sighs and shuffles out of his seat, moving towards the back of the room. Octavia plops down next to Clarke, a bag of chips in her hand, she offers them over to her new friends. Clarke refuses. Raven yanks it from her grasp.

 

“We got a code brown,” another intern speaks up from somewhere behind them.

 

“10 bucks says he pisses himself before he even opens,” Someone else adds, chatter begins to fill the room.

 

“20 bucks says he cries,” Raven quips.

 

“50 says he pulls it off,” Clarke announces loudly, the chatter around the room comes to a complete halt. “That’s one of us down there. We gotta be rooting for each other”.

 

“75 says he can’t identify the appendix,” Raven counters in a bored tone, Clarke rolls her eyes at her new friend.

 

“I’ll take that action,” Octavia leans over Clarke, yanking her bag of chips out of Raven's hands, she pats the Blonde’s knee sympathetically.

 

“It’s a nice thought,” Octavia tells her before popping a chip into her mouth.

 

Jasper asks for the scalpel in a commanding tone. Everyone in the gallery cheers for him. One sharp look from Dr. Blake in the surgical room shuts them all up.

 

  
Jasper is nervous at first, but as soon as he cuts into flesh, a whole other demeanor takes over. He is in complete control, but with Dr. Blake breathing down his neck, he grows more and more shaky.

 

“He’s gonna choke,” Raven notes, sounding disappointed. She was actually rooting for him.

 

“Shut up Raven,” Clarke snaps. “You got this Jasper,” she mutters to herself.

 

But the patient on the table won’t last much longer if Jasper doesn’t pull it together or if Dr. Blake doesn’t step in. Finally Dr. Blake is forced to step in, pushing Jasper aside and fixing the whole mess.

 

“007” Someone scoffs. Shows over, people begin to file out.

 

“007?” Clarke asks, but no one offers an answer.

 

“License to kill,” a deep, gruff voice answers when no one speaks up.

 

Three heads turn around in their seat to look for the source. A tall, body building looking man nods at them. 

 

“It’s stupid,” he stands from his chair, towering over them. They lift their gaze as he stands, gawking slightly at the good looking man.

 

“Appreciate the loyalty,” he tells Clarke. “Nice to know if I was down there, I would have one person on my side”.

 

He nods one more time before exiting the gallery. The girls all look to each other.

 

“Who was that?” Octavia asks, looking very intrigued.

 

“Maybe he’s the model,” Raven wonders aloud, missing an eye roll from Octavia.

 

“Seems like he’s got an eye for you,” Octavia nudges Clarke playfully.

 

“Not really my type,” Clarke frowns, her mind going back to Lexa.

 

“Tall, dark and handsome isn’t your type?” Raven scoffs, standing from her seat, leading them out of the gallery. Just outside is said intern.

 

“Suit yourself," Octavia speaks slowly, turning her head to the side slightly. He doesn’t have his coat on, so they can really appreciate the view. Raven and Clarke turn their heads as Octavia is doing, also appreciating the view.

 

“Damn,” Clarke mutters.

“Holy shit,” Raven agrees.

 

* * *

 

Jasper refuses to eat in the cafeteria. In an act of solidarity, Clarke and Octavia join him out in an abandoned hallway with a few vending machines. No one’s really sure why Raven joined them.

 

“They’re calling me 007,” Jasper mutters gloomily.

 

“No one is calling you 007,” Octavia and Clarke repeat for the 3rd time. 

 

“I was in the elevator, Murphy whispered it and everyone laughed,” he keeps the same tone.

 

“You made a mistake, so what? Any one of us could have made it,” Raven tells him around a mouthful of food.

 

“You think so?” Jasper asks hopefully. “You think you guys would have…?”

 

“No” Raven replies quickly. “Maybe Octavia,” She adds helpfully.

 

“Fuck you!” Octavia curses, spewing a bot of her food over Jaspers lap. The man brushes it off with a mild look of disgust.

 

Clarke is about to take a bite out of her sandwich when her pager goes off.

 

“911, Katie Bryce,” Clarke sighs, rolling her eyes. “I swear, if this is another false alarm…”

 

 

* * *

 

Clarke takes her time going up the three flights of stairs. She feels no need to rush. Not until she sees nurses rushing over to the room.

 

She runs to the doorway only to see Katie is crashing. They all look to her for answers, she takes a moment to panic. 3 seconds. That’s all she gets. Then she composes herself and gets the work done.

 

She loses her for a moment, but she defibrillates Katie one last time, bringing her back.

 

“Pressure’s rising, grids coming back,” a nurse states, allowing Clarke to breathe again.

 

“What the hell happened?” Lexa snaps, entering the room. It’s so different than the other times she has encountered the woman.

 

“She had a seizure and-” Clarke begins to explain.

 

“A seizure?” Lexa raises her voice slightly.

 

“Her heart stopped,” Clarke goes on.

 

“You were supposed to be monitoring her!” Lexa reprimands, pushing through the nurses to check Katie’s vitals.

 

“I checked on her and-” Clarke wants to explain herself, but she isn’t given a word in.

 

“I got it-” Lexa grunts. “I got it - just- just GO!” Lexa points at the door without so much as another glance at Clarke.

 

Clarke exits the room, almost running right into Indra.

 

“Do you even rememberer my 5 rules?” Indra roars at Clarke. “You answer at a run! If someone dies in your care, it’s MY ass on the line”.

 

Clarke continues on through, ignoring Indra. She needs to catch her breath. She almost a patient.

 

“Where are you going?” Indra yells after the woman, but Clarke doesn’t care. She passes a couple people in the hall, but doesn’t say a word to them. Only one seems to care.

 

“Clarke?” Raven calls out to her.

 

Clarke ignores Raven, running out of the door to a burst of fresh air hitting her. Rain is pouring down from the sky, but she really doesn't care. She finds the nearest bush and proceeds to vomit the contents of her stomach.

 

Raven stands just behind her, not saying a word. When Clarke is done, she composes herself.

 

“If you tell anyone,” Clarke warns as she passes her. Raven raises her hands in surrender.

 

 

* * *

 

Clarke finds the nearest on call room and crashes on the first bunk. It’s been 24 hours, she needs a moment to herself, and a quick nap before she continues.

 

She wakes a few hours later to realize Octavia crashed in the same room as her some time in the early hours of the morning. There's a tap on the door and Jasper peaks his head in.

 

“They’re calling a meeting for the interns,” he lets them know, a tooth brush sticking precariously out of his mouth.

 

“What?” Octavia’s head snaps up, slightly alarmed.

 

“Meeting,” Clarke grumbles back to her, half asleep.

 

“K,” she sighs. “Better get up anyways, had to many dreams about rectal exams” the small brunette shudders.

 

Octavia and Clarke brush their teeth beforethey head over to where the meeting was called. They enter to find Raven sitting on a chair, yawning, while suturing a banana.

 

“What are you doing?” Tall, dark and handsome asks, holding an extra cup of coffee.

 

“Trying to wake up my brain,” Raven explains. Jasper laughs from his seat, looking tired.

 

"What are you laughing at 007?" Raven snaps at him. "Sorry," she immediately recants "I get mean when I'm tired".

 

“Is it working?” Handsome man asks, taking a seat near their group.

 

“No,”

 

“Who’s that for?” Octavia asks, eyeing his extra cup of coffee.

 

“Thought I would need two” He explains, but then glances at her pleading eyes and offers it with a smile.

 

“You’re a God,” Octavia moans, taking the hot cup into her hands.

 

“Lincoln actually. Lincoln Reid,” The man introduces himself.

 

“Nice to meet you Dr. Reid,” Octavia bats her eyes at the man. Raven furrows her brow at Octavia.

 

‘What the fuck’ She mouths at her. Octavia shrugs in response.

 

“You guys with the drill sergeant?” Lincoln asks them.

 

“Yup,” Clarke nods, she leans her head slightly over on Raven, too exhausted to keep up her own head up. Raven continues on suturing without pause.

 

“Awesome, I’ve seen her work. Bad ass,” he notes, just as Dr. Woods steps in.

 

Clarke immediately straightens, shifting Raven form her sutures. The cranky brunette looks over at Clarke then at Dr. Woods. She notes when their superiors eyes linger a bit too long on Clarke.

 

“What was that?” Raven asks. Clarke really hates how intuitive she is.

 

“I’m going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I’m going to ask interns for help. I know you all are pretty busy, but I have this case. A 16 year old beauty pageant contestant, Katie Bryce. She doesn't respond to her meds. Labs are clean, scans are pure, but she's having seizures. So I figured I’d ask for a few extra eyes on this case. I know you are all busy. Tired. Have personal lives…”

 

Again Lexa’s gaze flickers over to Clarke. Raven nudges her slightly again, but Clarke grits her teeth and says nothing.

 

“So I’m going to give you an incentive, you find out what’s wrong with her? You get to scrub in,” chatter starts up in the room at this. Suddenly Raven is wide awake.

 

“Alright, get to it,” Lexa hands out a few copies of Katie’s file before leaving.

 

“I want in on Woods surgery. You've been the intern on Katie since the start. You want to work together? We find the answer, we have a fifty-fifty chance of scrubbing in,” Raven takes Clarke by the shoulders excitedly. “Plus you gotta tell me what the hell THAT was”.

 

“I’ll help, but I don’t want the surgery,” Clarke mutters, staring out at the door that Lexa disappeared through.

 

“Ok, now we definitely have to talk,” Raven takes Clarke by the elbow and takes her out of the room.

 

They head to the library to brush up on some research.

 

“Well, she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It's not a tumor because her CT's clean. Are you seriously not going to tell me why you won't work with Woods? And what was that all about?” Raven asks, referring to the eye contact in the room.

 

“Why do you care? Infection?” Clarke asks, flipping through medical texts.

 

“No. No white count she has no ceteal lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap. It’s the most interesting thing to happen not counting Octavia's weird flirting methods.. Just tell me,” Raven also flips trough, looking hopeless.

 

“You can't comment, make a face, or react in any way. We had sex.” Clarke tells her, not looking up from the book, not wanting to see the woman's reaction. Raven opens her mouth, closes it, opens it again, then looks back down.

 

“What about an aneurysm?” Raven asks instead of commenting.

 

“No blood on the CT, and no headaches,” Clarke shakes her head.

 

“Okay. There's no drug use, uh, no pregnancy, no trauma...was she good? I mean, she looks like she would be, was it any good?” Raven prods, wanting to know all the details.

 

“What if no one comes up with something?” Clarke ignores the questions.

 

“You mean if she dies?” Raven needs clarification.

 

“Yeah. She’s not even a person yet Raven. Do you rememberer what you were like at that age?”

 

“Ugh, I rather not,” Raven looks disgusted by the memory. 

 

“Know what her talent was?”

 

“Talent? Wait, we talking Beaty Pageant or Woods?”

 

“Rhythmic gymnastics,” Clarke ignores Raven being crude, but then raises her eyebrows suggestively at Raven.

 

“I knew it! She’s good!” Raven raises her arms in the air as if she’s won a prize. “What even is rhythmic gymnastics?”

 

“Wait!!!” Clarke hops up to her feet. “I know what’s wrong!”

 

Clarke offers Raven her hand, neither of them bothering to put back their books. They need to findWoods.

 

“Woah, where’s the fire?” Clarke collides into a body, and that voice? That would be just the woman they are looking for.

 

“Dr. Woods.” Clarke gasps, “we were just looking for you”.

 

“Dr. Woods? Yesterday it was Lexa and today it’s Dr. Woods?” Lexa asks, amused. Raven takes a step back, stifling her laughter at the situation. She would leave them alone, but it’s much too entertaining.

 

“Um, this is inappropriate,” Clarke notes, glancing over her shoulder slightly. “We should just forget it ever happened”.

 

“What never happened? You sleeping with me? Or you kicking me out the next morning?” Lexa asks “Because they are both fond memories I’d like to hold onto”.

 

Raven snorts behind them, momentarily stealing the attention. She clears her threat and looks at her feet.

 

“Dr. Woods this is not a conversation we should be having in present company,” Clarke grits out. Raven has it in her to make a sound of indignation which both women ignore.

 

“Relax,” Lexa laughs, “I came to the library to do a bit of my own research. Over heard you two talking. I know Reyes knows”.

 

“Normally I would take this as a cue to leave, but I think Clarke - uh -Dr. Griffin, wants to explain something”. Raven steps forward, people are starting to look over at them. No need for extra ears to hear this conversation.

 

“Okay, she has no headaches, no neck pain, her CT's clean, there's no medical proof of an aneurysm - but what if she does anyway? She fell when she twisted her ankle,” Clarke explains. Lexa purses her lips, not convinced, but it seems Raven know exactly where Clarke’s train of thought is going.

 

“ It was no big deal, not even a bump on the head, you know she got right back up, iced her ankle and everything was fine, it was a fall so minor her doctor didn't even think to mention it when I was taking her history, but she did fall,” She continues looking hopeful.

 

“The chances of this is literally one in a million,” Lexa tells them. Both interns deflate at this, they had so much hope.

 

“Let’s go,” Dr. Woods sighs, both interns look up, bright eyes.

 

“Where?” Clarke asks.

 

“To see if Katie is one in a million,” Lexa tells them. Raven and Clarke move forward, but Lexa doesn’t. Looking down at the mess of books.

 

“They don’t like it when you do that,” She nods down at the books.

 

The interns rush forward, quick to clean up the mess.

 

 

* * *

 

Turns out they were right. Katie Bryce had the smallest of aneurysms. Raven had quickly volunteered the spot in the surgical room to Clarke with a conniving smile on her face. Before Clarke could object, Dr. Woods, without looking from the scans, agreed that Clarke would be the one to scrub in.

 

Clarke has to the the one to prep Katie for surgery, but is surprised to enter the room to find Dr. Woods already there, shaving off half of her head. Lexa glances up, a smile gracing her features before concentrating on her job.

 

“She wanted me to make her look cool,” Lexa explains.

 

“Did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you?” Clarke blurts it out, just like that. Lexa widens her eyes, then sets down the clippers to look at Clarke with a serious face.

 

“Yes,” She pauses, then grins. “No, Clarke,” she laughs. “You’re the one who figured out what was wrong with Katie with hardly an training, it’s impressive and it deserved to be rewarded. Besides, Reyes didn’t seem too upset about giving up the spot”.

 

Clarke shifts uncomfortably on her feet under Lexa’s gaze.

 

“You shouldn’t let the fact that we had sex… really good sex… get in the way of you taking your shot,” Lexa tells Clarke.

 

“Who even said it was good?” Clarke doesn’t mind the teasing. She enjoys it actually the banter.

 

“You did. At least, you implied it to Reyes,” Lexa laughs, getting a blush out of Clarke.

 

“I’m still not going out with you,” Clarke informs Lexa. Lexa laughs.

 

“I didn’t ask you out. Unless, do you want to?” Lexa asks, testing the waters. Clarke laughs and turns on her heel.

 

“You are impossible Dr. Woods!” Clarke calls back after her.

 

“That wasn’t a no!” Lexa responds. She looks down at an unconscious Katie Bryce. “It wasn’t a no,” She tells the girl.

 

* * *

 

The surgery goes by brilliantly, Raven up in the gallery, watching the whole thing in awe, and slight jealousy. When Clarke is done, she catches Raven waiting for her.

 

“That was awesome,” Raven breathes.

 

“You’re a dick, you know that,” Clarke tells Raven, taking a seat next to her new friend. Raven shrugs.

 

“My need to meddle and make things awkward won me over. It won’t happen again Griff, take my word for it”.

 

“Noted”.

 

“We don't have to do that thing where I say something, and then you say something, and then somebody cries, and there's like a moment…” Raven tells Clarke, not wanting to get into anything emotional.

 

“Yuck,” Clarke agrees.

 

“Good,” Raven nods “Now get some sleep. You look like crap”.

 

“I look better than you,” Clarke tells her, removing her scrub cap from her head, tossing it at Raven.

 

“Impossible”.

 

Just then, Lexa exits the surgical room and approaches the nearest desk to fill out Katie’s chart. Raven nudges Clarke slightly.

 

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Raven tells her before handing back the scrub cap and leaving.

 

“That was amazing,” Clarke approaches Lexa at the desk, she takes on a dazed look, remembering how the surgery went. How confidently Lexa moved. How her hands were so steady.

 

“It was something,” Lexa agrees, giving Clarke a tired smile.

 

“You were amazing,” Clarke admits it shyly, even thought it’s more of a fact.

 

“Thank you,” Lexa takes the compliment easily.

 

“I should go,” Clarke leans in close, as if they are about to share a kiss.

 

“I’m tired, hungry, off some sort of surgery high, and I just watched you saved a girls life,” Clarke speaks slowly, her voice goes low.

 

“Why does any of that mean you have to go?” Lexa asks quietly also leaning in.

 

“I might do something I’m not supposed to,” Clarke admits, leaning in so their lips are just a breath away. She quickly turns away from Lexa, leaving the girl dazed and an exasperated smile on her face.

 

“I’ll see you around, Dr. Griffin,” Lexa laughs, waving off the intern.

 

“See you around, Dr. Woods,” Clarke has purposefully not used the woman first name in fear of getting too comfortable, but it might be too late for that.

 

* * *

 

“So I made it through my first shift. We all did. The rest of the interns, they’re good people. I mean, at least the ones I know are. Maybe. I don’t know. I like them though, and I think that’s more important. I don’t feel so alone, you know? Oh and I changed my mind. I’m not selling the house. I’m going to keep it. I’ll need a few roommates, between paying off student loans and this place… I’ll need the extra cash. Plus, it’s home”.

 

Clarke hates visiting this place. She feels so out of sorts. 

 

“Are you the doctor?” The woman she’s speaking to asks. She looks like an older, more tired version of Clarke.

 

“No mom,” Clarke sighs, watching as her mother fidgets with her wedding ring. She didn't think she would have to put her mom into a nursing home for years, yet here she was.

 

“I used to be a doctor I think,” She notes distractedly.

 

“You were mom,” Clarke steadies her mothers hand, taking it in hers. “You were THE Abbigail Griffin. The best of the best”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reviews and kudos. I'll definitely be adding some of my own touches to the story, but when it comes to medical jargon and such like that? I have no idea what that entails, so most of it will probably come form the show.
> 
> Thoughts?


	3. Day By Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke hopes her day will turn around as soon as she gets to work, but it only gets stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to give you all a heads up, there are mentions of rape in this chapter.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes.

 

 

Isn’t it strange how a person starts out their day thinking they know exactly where it’s going to end, only to reach the end of the day and find it took a turn in the opposite direction?

 

Clarke Griffin’s day had done exactly that. She started out the morning with a call from the home her mother is staying at, letting her know that she could get a call at moments notice because her mother would have to sign her estate away.

 

First of all, why hadn’t this been done long ago? Why did they wait until her mother was having less and less lucid days? Isn’t that just a bit irresponsible? 

 

Second, she’s a surgical intern. No matter how many times she explained to the lawyer and the home that her job did not allow for ‘moments notice’, they didn’t quite seem to grasp it.

 

Clarke thought it would be a relief to step back into Seattle Grace, but then things got a bit… she’s not sure if she would call it strange, because working in a hospital in a big city meant for out of the ordinary circumstances. 

 

But Clarke didn’t expect to be lugging around a Penis in a cooler.

 

Right, so how did she end up with the Penis? It all started when she walked in to the hospital. After her disappointing morning at the home, eager to get her hands dirty. Hoping somehow she could get into a surgical room.

 

Normally she’d take the stairs, Clarke convinces herself that counts as her exercise, but she was wearing these flats that were downright uncomfortable. They were her formal flats that she forced herself into when she got the call to speak to her lawyers. Yet another thing that was going wrong for her.

 

Thus she found herself in the elevator. And OF COURSE, just as the doors were closing, a hand snuck in, stopping the doors from closing. She was late. This could NOT be happening.

 

As if matters couldn’t get any worse, the hand was attached to none other than Dr. Lexa Woods.

 

Lexa grinned at the blonde upon seeing it was she who was riding the elevator. Dr. Woods was already in her scrubs and coat while Clarke was still in her civilian clothes.

 

Clarke took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself not to say or do anything stupid.

 

Lexa took this as a sign to not engage the woman. She entered the elevator and began clicking away at her phone. Clarke stood stoically behind her, hoping they could go along their ride without an exchange of words.

 

“Seattle has Ferry Boats,” Lexa noted. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at that.

 

“Seattle is surrounded by water on 3 sides,” Clarke hoped that Lexa couldn’t tell just how endearing she found her.

 

“Hence the Ferry Boats. I’m from New York, you know, I’m genetically engineered to hate everywhere except Manhattan. I didn’t want to like it here, but you guys have Ferry Boats,” Lexa sighed dramatically, pocketing her phone. Clarke thanked every deity that Lexa didn’t turn around to face her.

 

“We’re not doing this. I’m not going out with you,” Clarke spoke up suddenly, needing to say it, even if she wanted the exact opposite.

 

“I never asked you,” Lexa scoffed. “Do you want to go out with me?” Clarke could tell the surgeon was smiling even though her back was to her. The Blonde huffed, exasperated.

 

“I'm not dating you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss,” Clarke was exasperated. She shouldn’t have to explain this.

 

“I'm your boss's boss,” Lexa reminded her.

 

“You're my teacher. And my teacher's teacher. And you're my teacher,” Clarke growled frustrated.

 

“I’m your sister, I'm your daughter,” Lexa grumbled, throwing words out there because the conversation was getting that ridiculous.

 

“You're sexually harassing me,” Clarke hoped something she was saying would stick.

 

“I’m riding an elevator,” Lexa huffed.

 

“I’m drawing a line. There’s a line drawn. A big line,” Clarke knew she sounded so stupid, but she couldn’t stop herself.

 

“So this line?” Lexa said slowly, turning around to face her. “Is it imaginary or should I start carrying around a sharpie?” She raised a challenging eyebrow at the intern. That’s all it took. Just one look into those green eyes and Clarke was done for.

 

She surged forward, pinning Lexa against the wall, flyers from the bulletin board of announcements on the wall scattered to the ground, but they paid no mind to it.

 

Lexa’s hand immediately reached for Clarke’s waist, pulling her flush against her, her fingers digging into the blondes hips. While Clarke’s fingers tangled into the curly brown locks.

 

They had approximately three floors before they reached their destination. 

 

With each ding notifying the next floor, both women grew more confident with their hands. With their lips. With their tongues.

 

Before the final ding however, Clarke pulled away, their lips parting with a loud smack. Lexa’s eyes were hooded and half dazed as the doors opened. Clarke was out of there without another word. Gaze fixed to the ground and lips tingling, hoping none of the Doctors who joined Lexa in the elevator had any idea of what just happened.

 

“Someone’s running late,” Raven hummed as Clarke quickly tore into her locker, making the quickest change of wardrobe she’s ever done. 

 

“Shut up,” Clarke gritted out, shoving her leopard print flats into her locker.

 

“Cute shoes,” Octavia beamed happily. Was that girl every anything but happy?

 

“You can have them,” Clarke grunted back at her. Jasper, Raven and Octavia exchanged a look, knowing very well that they would have to deal with a grumpy Clarke and that was never fun.

 

Just as Clarke was shoving her arms into her coat, the four interns got a page, alerting them of an oncoming trauma in the Pit.

 

“Dibs!” Ravens eyes brightened at the prospect of a surgical case.

 

“No way!” Octavia grinned at the challenge, shoving past Raven to run down to the ER.

 

“Maybe we should let Clarke have it, since she’s having a crap day and all,” Jasper began, but Clarke was already out of the locker room, running after her fellow interns.

 

Indra was waiting for them with a scowl on her face, which wasn’t unusual at all. What was unusual was Indra looking directly at Jasper.

 

“Jordan, the chief needs a right hand for the day, head up to his office,” The intern hesitated a moment, causing her scowl to be directed right at him. He stumbled over himself before scampering down the hallway.

 

“Why does Bambi get to work with the chief?” Raven asked aloud. Indra’s gaze shifted directly at the woman.

 

“Not that I’m complaining,” Raven added quickly. “I love the pit. I’m excited for the pit”. Octavia snorted. Earning a hard glare from the Latina.

 

“What are you laughing at?” Indra snapped at Octavia “You’re on-”

 

Before Indra could assign Octavia some bogus task, paramedics came rushing in with a badly beaten and bloody patient.

 

“We’ve got a rape victim,” The women immediately went silent, their full attention on the case before them.

 

“ 21-year-old female found down at the park, status: post-trauma, she came in with a GCS of 6, BP 80 over 60, head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she's ready for x-ray,” the paramedic handed the case over to the women.

 

“We got it from here,” Indra nodded seriously as the Surgeon and her three interns took over the stretcher and lead the woman to a trauma room to asses all the damage.

 

Clarke and Octavia noticed it at the same time. The woman laying unconscious before them was wearing the very same shoes Clarke came in to work with. It was eery. Both women locked eyes and for some reason made them take this case a little closer to heart.

 

Raven took on a whole other demeanor. Her usual eagerness for a surgery was subdued. For the first time ever they saw the woman become very personal. 

 

“We don’t need so many interns,” Dr. Blake, the attending noted as everyone scrubbed in for the victims surgery. “Um….” His eyes scanned over the three interns it was suddenly very hard to choose who got to stay.

 

“Please, Bell,” Octavia pleaded in a low voice. The Blake’s had been working along side each other for over a week and not once had they acknowledged the others’ presence, let alone direct a word at the other. All eyes flickered between the two Blakes. His eyes softened a moment, looking at the three women that, for one reason or another, felt a personal attachment to the case.

 

“Fine, but you will all observe from the back,” he allowed.

 

“Thanks,” Octavia mouthed at her older brother. He gave her a small smile and a nod before proceeding to the surgical room.

 

“She's going to spend a hell of a lot of time in recovery and rehab,” Lexa sighed as she worked on the woman.

 

“If she survives,” Bellamy said the words aloud. Someone had to say it. It was a very real possibility.

 

“What is she, like, 5'2, a hundred pounds, she's still breathing after what this guy did to her? If they catch the guy, they should castrate him,” Lexa growled angrily.

None of the interns got to scrub in, Dr. Blake made it very clear that they wouldn’t be seeing any action and were simply there as a courtesy.

 

Both Octavia and Clarke noticed the change in Raven as soon as the case presented itself in front of them. There was no need to say anything. Raven stood tense between the two. Octavia being the one unafraid of emotions and intimacy reached out her hand to give Raven’s hand a squeeze. She was surprised to see Raven didn’t shove her away, in fact, she grasped onto the shorter womans' hand tightly, needing the support. Her face gave away no emotion, but the way her hand held onto Octavia’s… 

 

Clarke glanced down at their hands. Clarke is very much like Raven in that way, she steers clear of emotions and friendships. She’s not used to having people there for her so she usually isn’t there for people, but the way Octavia’s hand has gone white with the grasp Raven has on her, she knows her knew friend needs the support, so she too offers her hand to Raven.

 

Again, she is surprised that profanity isn’t spewed in her direction and instead she grasps onto Clarke’s hand for dear life.

 

“See how shredded her hands are? She tried to fight back,” Bellamy noted glancing away from his work in her abdomen to look at her hands.

 

“Tried to? Rape kit came back negative. She kicked his ass,” Lexa announced to the surgeons in the room. 

 

There was a collective breath released between the interns that only Bellamy seemed to have noticed, but he made no note of it. The three girls released their hands, flexing them to get circulation flowing in them again. They would never bring up that moment again.

 

“I guess we have a warrior among us,” Bellamy smiled round the room. 

 

“Allison,” Clarke spoke up suddenly, everyone turned to look at her. “Her name is Alison,” She let them all know.

 

“I think I may have found the cause of our rupture,” Bellamy announced, he raises up a piece of flesh, examining it. “What is this? Does anyone know what this is?” 

 

“Oh my god,” Octavia’s eyes widened in realization. It seemed the three interns knew exactly what he was holding up.

 

“What is it?” He asked, eyes scanning over the three interns, hoping one of them would enlighten the room.

 

“That’s,” Raven attempted to say it, but the words got stuck, she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at the flesh.

 

“What is it? Spit it out,” Bellamy grew impatient quickly.

 

“She bit it off,” Raven was sure of it.

 

“Bit what off?” Bellamy looked more confused at the addition of words.

 

“That’s his.. His penis,” Clarke clarified. The men in the room immediately groaned. Bellamy looked at the flesh in disgust and tossed it aside into a tray a surgical nurse was holding out for him.

 

That’s how Clarke ended up in Chief Kane’s office, with a cooler containing a penis. Turns out because she was the only one who identified what was left of the penis she got to transport it to the cops.

 

“Clarke!” Chief Kane smiles at the blonde, his eyes glance down at the cooler for a moment before returning his gaze to the intern in front of him.

 

“It’s so nice to see you. How’s your mother doing? You look just like her you know. I’m sure you get that all the time,” Kane looks like he wants to reach out for a hug, but then thinks better of it.

 

“Yes sir,” Clarke smiles politely, “And my mother is doing well, she sends her regards”.

 

“Wonderful, tell her I say hello the next time you speak, I assume she’s traveling?” Kane lets his sentence trail off like a question, so instead Clarke changes the subject.

 

“I’m supposed to bring this to you…?” Clarke holds up the cooler, he blanches slightly when she raises it to eye level. Men are such babies.

 

“Yes, uh, for the cops,” He nods, taking a seat behind his desk.

 

“Right,” Clarke nods, an awkward silence ensues. “And they’ll be here, when?”

 

“Oh!” He goes back into chief mode, regaining his air of authority. “The police tend to take their time, it’s best you keep it with you, seeing as it’s evidence. Chain of custody and all. I will have my assistant page you when they’ve arrived”.

 

“So I have to carry this around with me?” Clarke double checks, raising the cooler up again, feeling slightly smug when Kane looks queasy.

 

“Yes, until the cops come for it,” Kane nods, avoiding her eyes.

 

“What am I supposed to do with a penis?” Clarke asks her chief, his only response comes in the form of an awkward smile.

 

 

* * *

 

Raven’s day had started off great. She got to ride her bike to work, because for once in Seattle’s history, it wasn’t raining. She had a slight hiccup with the emergency case that was brought in, but she wasn’t going to let it get to her.

 

Something about the surgery though, it made her suddenly very bold. She ordered two cups of coffee at the cart and made her way to the surgical board, knowing she would find just who she was looking for there.

 

Bellamy Blake stood before the board just as Raven approached. Scrub cap still on, face puckered in concentration as he read over the days cases. He turned away from the board and walked to nearest desk. That’s when Raven made her move.

 

She stood right next to him, sliding the coffee over to him. Bellamy glanced down at the coffee and then over at Raven. He looked even more perplexed by the Latina than he did by the mess on the surgical board.

 

“It’s just coffee,” Raven defends, taking a sip from her own. He looks back down at the coffee.

 

“Just coffee,” He notes with a smile, taking it in his hands before he is called away. Raven watches him leave with a smile on her face just as Clarke approaches with Jasper following pathetically at her heels.

 

“C’mon just tell me,” Jasper pleads with Clarke.

 

“Why do you still have it?” Raven asks, glancing at the cooler as Clarke sets it down on the desk where Bellamy’s coffee just was.

 

“You know what it is?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at Raven, he turns to Clarke. “She knows what it is?”

 

“We were there,” Octavia appears out of nowhere, as always, with a huge smile on her face.

 

“YOU know?” He asks Octavia. “Aw c’mon someone tell me what it is?”

 

“Do you really want to know?” Raven asks in a dull tone, sipping at her coffee.

 

“Yes!” He exclaims.

 

“Is that the severed penis?” Lincoln appears just behind Octavia. Jasper turns slightly green, taking three long strides away from Clarke.

 

“Where did you come from Doctor Model?” Raven asks.

 

“Which one of us are you talking to?” Octavia asks the Latina. Clarke furrows her brow at the pair. If Octavia and Lincoln ever made babies together they would have extremely symmetrical faces.

 

“Lincoln obviously,” Raven snorts “I don’t care where you came from” Octavia takes the coffee out of Raven’s hand and takes a sip. It’s not the first Blake she’s shared coffee with today.

 

“Lincoln has been reassigned with us,” Octavia explains “Indra asked me to tell him how she does things”.

 

“I thought there was a little more pep in your step,” Clarke grins, imitating a cheerleader, raising her hands in their air as if it’s a pom pom in her hand and not a cooler with evidence in it.

 

“Is it?” Lincoln ignores everything else that just happened, his eyes glued to the cooler.

 

“It is,” Clarke nods, setting the cooler back down. Lincoln opens it and takes a peek inside.

 

“Talk about taking a bite out of crime,” He grimaces slightly and looks around. The girls all crack a smile at the joke.

 

“It’s a dick in a box,” Jasper sings the old SNL song, everyone looks at him with a frown.

 

“What?” He asks.

 

“Not cool man,” Octavia shakes her head, everyone begins parting ways.

 

“Wait why can Lincoln make a joke?” Jasper asks, but everyone has already gone back to work.

 

 

* * *

 

The day seemed to move as slow as the evening traffic on the 5. Clarke had been taking care of the cooler all day and she was sick of it.

 

That’s probably what brought her up to the Intensive Care Unit where Alison was fighting for her life. She didn’t enter the room, she just stood outside of it and prayed, even though she wasn’t religious, that the woman would be okay.

 

She felt Lexa’s presence before the woman even spoke.

 

“Clarke. I've called every hospital in the county. Sooner or later, the guy that did this is going to seek medical attention, and when he does, that penis you're carrying around is going to nail him”. 

 

“Where’s her family?” Clarke asks, her hand tightening around the handle. She doesn’t want to look at Lexa in fear of losing control again.

 

“Doesn’t have any,” Lexa lets her know. It seems she too has taken this case personally.

 

“No siblings? Friends?” Clarke can't believe this woman has to fight for her life completely alone.

 

“No. Both Parents are dead. She just moved to the city. Quite the welcome…” Lexa trails off. The blonde can feel the neurosurgeons eyes on her, but she won’t look at her.

 

“Clarke, are you okay?” Lexa asks, real concern lacing her voice.

 

“Yeah,” Clarke thinks back to the shoes in her locker and how they’re the same shoes. She thinks about explaining it to Lexa, but doesn’t think she’ll understand why it has Clarke feeling out of sorts.

 

“I just, I have to go,” Clarke tells Lexa, already moving away.

 

“Right. I’m going to go sit with her,” Lexa says to no one in particular, thinking Clarke has already left, but she hasn’t. She caught the sentence and stopped in her tracks to watch Lexa enter the room and check over Alison’s vitals before taking a seat next to the woman. Simply keeping her company.

 

* * *

 

Clarke spots Raven in the lobby and decides she wouldn’t mind taking a seat next to the Latina who seems to be stretching, shaking off all the hours of work.

 

Clarke plops down in a chair while Raven very uncomfortably lays over three of them.

 

“What are you doing down here?” Raven asks her, not at all bothered by the girls company, simply curious.

 

“Just sitting here with my penis,” Clarke explains “You?”

 

“Hiding from the drill sergeant. The Evil Incarnate. You know she has me with Lincoln, which 1 pisses off Octavia, and okay that’s sorta fun, but 2 he’s like too nice. Like borderline creepy nice. I don’t know what to do with someone like that. I like dark and twisty”.

 

“I kissed Lexa,” Clarke blurts it out. And she isn’t quite sure why, but Raven’s response, or rather, lack of, makes her feel better.

 

“You kissed Lexa,” She repeats, just in case she heard wrong. Clarke nods once.

 

“In the elevator,” She elaborates, Raven tilts her head as if she is picturing it now. A smug smile appears on her lips, yeah she’s definitely picturing it.

 

“I was having a bad day,” Clarke feels the need to explain.

 

“Well I’m having a shit day, meet me in the elevator?” Raven waggles her eyebrows at the woman, earning a laugh.

 

“Is that what you do on a bad day? Make out with Dr. McDreamy? Cuz if that’s protocol around here, sign me the fuck up,” Raven stands from the seat, offering Clarke a hand. They need to get back to work.

 

“Well that, and you know, carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy,” Clarke grins at Raven. Her friend hums in response.

 

“Octavia said Alison was wearing your shoes,” Raven continues the conversation.

 

“Yeah, its weird right?” Clarke asks.

 

“It’s a little weird,” Raven agrees.

 

A screeching just outside the lobby stops their conversation, stealing the attention. A car swerves onto the sidewalk just by the entrance. Raven and Clarke and a couple of other nurses jump into action.

 

A man staggers out of the car, blood soaking his clothes. He collapses to the ground and in seconds there are nurses at his side and a stretcher being provided.

 

Raven’s eyes shift down to his blood soaked crotch.

 

“It’s him,” she tugs at Clarke’s arm, eyes wide.

 

“Right um, call for security, I got this,” Clarke tries to save Raven the trouble, but of course Raven is offended by this.

 

“YOU call security,” And just like that, Raven compartmentalizes whatever feelings she was having in the OR and tends to the rapist.

 

Three of Indra’s interns are allowed back into this surgery.Raven had caught Bellamy whispering something in Indra’s ear just before they entered the OR, her gaze lingered over the three women before she nodded and called them in.

 

“I saw Alison, you can't believe the beating that she took. And then to see this…” Clarke tails off looking over the man at the table

 

“It's like that old saying, you should see the other guy,” Octavia notes in complete awe of a girl who is actually smaller than her doing all this damage.

 

“Why are we not attempting to reattach the severed penis?” Indra takes this as a teaching moment.

 

“Teeth don't slice, they tear, you can only reattach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife…” Raven answers.

 

“Besides, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with,” Clarke explains, she would know, she’s spent all day with what was left of the penis.

 

“Right, so what do we do?” Indra asks, looking at Octavia for an answer.

 

“Sew him up minus a large part of the family jewels,” She tells her seriously.

 

“And his outlook?” Indra looks to Clarke this time.

 

“He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time,” Clarke takes this as a victory.

 

“Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again,” Raven adds in a bored tone.

 

“Oh, too bad,” Octavia uses the same tone.

 

“Shame,” Clarke continues the trend.

 

“Let's all take a moment to grieve,”Indra states and without finishing her breath- “Clamp!”

 

 

* * *

 

That night finds them in their usual break spot. The abandoned corridor with two empty beds, Jasper looks exhausted, hunching over in an empty wheelchair snacking on carrot sticks.

 

Raven sits as far away as she can from Lincoln on the second bed, apparently she’s had too much nice for one day. Octavia is happy to sit next to their new teammate, they seem to be sharing a basket of fries.

 

Clarke trudges over to them, cooler still in hand. She plops down next to Raven, so tired she has to lean her head on Raven and close her eyes. Maybe she can squeeze in a nap.

 

“Weren’t all three of you on the case, why does Griffin have to carry that thing around?” Lincoln asks conversationally.

 

“We didn’t want to have a big custody battle over it,” Raven jokes, then yawns, leaning her head a top of Clarke’s.

 

“Yeah I was the lucky one,” Clarke mumbles “Now I have to spend the night with a penis,” She hesitates for a moment, she can already tell Octavia wants to make some sort of comment without even opening her eyes.

 

“Octavia don’t,” Clarke snaps. The woman snaps her mouth closed and glares at the blonde.

 

“It was too easy anyway,” Octavia sighs, slumping over in her spot in attempt to get comfortable. Lincoln chuckles at their banter. Looking very glad that he got reassigned to this group.

 

“I’m so tired I can smell colors,” Jasper yawns, stretching his arms above his head. The man immediately straightens in his seat upon seeing Indra approaching. Jasper clears his throat in attempt at getting his friends attention.

 

Clarke and Raven seem to have actually fallen asleep. Octavia is too busy examining her fries and Lincoln is grabbing the pillow he was just using, trying to silently put it behind Clarke and Raven’s head to make them a bit more comfortable.

 

“Guys!” Jasper hisses at them, standing from the wheelchair. Lincoln turns his attention to Jasper, then a very unimpressed Indra.

 

“What do you all think you’re doing?” Indra snaps at er interns. Eyes widen and everyone is immediately on their feet, scrambling to get away from their teacher.

 

Indra smiles smugly to herself, resuming Octavia’s spot, helping herself to the fries and other assortment of food left behind.

 

Raven doesn’t have anything to do at the moment, but she doesn’t want to tell Indra that, so she wanders the hallway for a while. That’s when she spots the older Blake heading into an On Call room.

 

She waits until she’s sure no one is watching before she steps into the room. Bellamy has taken off his shoes and is slightly surprised to see Raven there. His eyes are tired and a soft smile appears on his lips, but he doesn’t say a word.

 

“It wasn’t just coffee,” Raven tells him a bit shyly. It’s probably the exhaustion talking and she’ll be kicking herself later for it. Bellamy raises his eyebrows at her, taking a step closer to the intern. Almost challenging her.

 

Raven never backs down from a challenge. She too takes a step forward. He looks into her tired brown eyes, his gaze flickers for a moment to her lips.

 

“Lock the door,” he whispers at her. Raven doesn’t usually take orders, but this one she is happy to follow.

 

 

* * *

 

Come morning, Clarke finds herself wandering over to the ICU, wanting to check in on Alison. There she finds Lexa, half asleep on the chair next to the victims bed. Clarke leans against the doorway, smiling at the sight. It’s almost as if Lexa can feel Clarke’s gaze on her, because it’s enough to have the Surgeon turn her head in the direction of the door.

 

Clarke tears her eyes away from the imploring green ones looking at her and looks at Alison instead.

 

“How is she?” Clarke asks, fearing the answer.

 

“No change,” Lexa sighs.

 

“Have you been here all night?” Clarke wonders, stepping into the room.

 

“Mhm,” She’s quiet for a moment, pensive. “I have two brothers. Fiercely protective. One younger and one older. There’s a big age gap between the three, but you wouldn’t know by how close we are. If I were in a coma, they’d be here. I’d want them to be here. Having no one. I can’t imagine that,” Lexa shares a bit of personal information and she doesn’t realize just the kind of effect that has on Clarke.

 

“I can,” Clarke mutters lowly.

 

“What are you talking about? Your mother would be here in an instant. I can just imagine, THE Abbigail Griffin back at Seattle Grace ordering everyone around. She’d fly in specialist from around the world to perform miracles,” Lexa enthuses, getting up form her seat, stretching herself out.

 

“That’s true,” Clarke allows. “I do have my mother”. Lexa catches the infliction in her tone, but makes no note of it. Something Clarke is extremely grateful for.

 

“So we're kissing but we're not dating?” Lexa asks, taking a step in what could be considered Clarke’s personal space.

 

“I knew that was going to come up,” Clarke can’t help but smile.

 

“Don't get me wrong, I like the kissing. I'm all for the kissing. In fact, I’m free now,” Lexa teases slightly.

 

“I don't know what that was about,” Clarke admits to her superior. Lexa stops the teasing for a moment, ducking her head to look into Clarke’s eyes.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks.

 

“Fine,” Clarke dismisses.

 

“In that case,” Lexa let’s it go, trying to get a smile on the blonde’s face. “Is it going to happen again? Because if it is, I need to bring breath mints”.

 

“Shut up,” Clarke rolls her eyes, joining in on Lexa’s laughter.

 

Clarke’s pager goes off. It’s the chief. She sighs in relief.

 

“Duty calls,” Clarke holds up the cooler in her hand as explanation.

 

“Hate to see you go,” Lexa tells her as she turns around, “ but oh how I love to watch you leave!”

 

Clarke is glad Lexa can’t spot the blush.

 

Chief Kane awaits Clarke with a Police officer at his side. The chief offers Clarke a clipboard.

 

“You sign here and initial there,” He hands her a pen and points to spots on the paper respectively. Clarke eagerly signs.

 

“It...just says that the, um…the…" Kane tries to explain what Clarke just signed.

 

“Penis?” Clarke supplies the word for the man. He laughs.

 

“I'm a doctor, it shouldn't be weird to say this, but I used to change your diapers…” Clarke furrows her brow at that. Her mother never mentioned anything of the sorts growing up.

 

“I get it,” She doesn’t but it’s not like she can ask her mother about it now.

 

“It just says that it was never out of sight,” Kane explains. Clarke hands over the cooler, nearly shoving it in her boss’s hands.

 

“There you go. One penis,” Clarke has never been so relieved.

 

“Officer,” Kane hands the cooler over gingerly to the Police Officer who grimaces, then leaves without a word.

 

 

* * *

 

Octavia and Jasper whisper lowly to each other. As if coming up with a nefarious plan.

 

“You’re going to cave,” Raven whispers to her friend. They are in the locker room, changing into their civilian clothes.

 

“Am not,” Clarke argues.

 

“You so are,” Raven laughs.

 

“Cave about what?” Lincoln is just now getting into his locker. Both Raven and Clarke watch silently as he removes his shirt. He really does have great abs.

 

“So you’ve had these flyers around the hospital for a week now,” Octavia holds up the hand made flyers Clarke posted a week ago asking for roommates. Jasper and Octavia immediately jumped at the opportunity, but Clarke didn’t want to be living with people she worked so closely with. She wanted strangers she didn’t have to talk to.

 

“I already said no,” Clarke sighs.

 

“Stay strong,” Raven thumps Clarke on the back.

 

“If you didn't want roommates why did you put up the flyers?” Jasper asks, jutting his lower lip out in what Clarke imagines is supposed to be an adorable pout.

 

“I can bake!” Octavia throws it out there, her eyes bright and adorable. She looks at Clarke pleadingly. She puts Puss in Boots to shame.

 

“You monster!” Raven snaps at Clarke. “Say yes already. Don’t you have a heart?” Raven pulls the smaller woman into an embrace dramatically.

 

“Fine,” Clarke sighs, “Way to stay strong,” She tells Raven sarcastically. Jasper is whooping victoriously. 

 

“I wouldn’t have been able to say no to that face,” Raven admits, pressing a loud smacking kiss to the top of Octavia’s head.

 

“Do you happen to have a third spare room?” Lincoln asks, wincing slightly. 

 

“Sorry, no,” Clarke apologizes to the attractive man.

 

“I do,” Raven offers up easily.

 

“YOU DO?” Octavia raises her voice. “And you didn’t think to mention it?”

 

“You never asked,” Raven shrugs. 

 

“Whatever Clarke’s going to love me more now,” Octavia wraps an arm around the blonde.

 

“Impossible,” Raven scoffs at the idea.

 

“I gotta call my mom and tell her I'm moving out!” Jasper pulls out his phone excitedly.

 

Clarke takes a little longer to get out of her scrubs, she also gets caught up when an intern makes some smart ass comment to a nurse, so she has to rip him a new one. She’s going to have to tell her friends that Murphy is on their shit list.

 

When she reaches the elevator she looks down at her shoes. Her same-as-Alison shoes. Without a second thought she removes them and tosses them in the trash.

 

“Like the look,” She can hear the smile in Lexa’s voice behind her. They wait patiently for the elevator.

 

“So. It's intense...this thing I have for, ah, ferry boats I mean,” Lexa tells Clarke. The blonde laughs and turns around to look at those green eyes she has come to memorize.

 

“I am so taking the stairs,” Clarke shakes her head, unable to rid herself of the smile on her face.

 

“No self control!” Lexa calls out after her, but she doesn’t follow.

 

In the lobby she finds her friends, none of them tease her about her lack of shoes. In fact, they all seem to understand. Lincoln points to his back, offering Clarke to hop on. To which she does, laughing the whole way to her car.

 

The previous day may have started off shitty. But this one, with her arms around Lincolns neck as he gallops like a horse to her car, the promise of Octavia’s sweet face baking and Jaspers lame jokes followed by his boisterous laugh, with Raven pretending like she doesn’t care at all- 

 

-Clarke thinks her days might just get a bit brighter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter. MY school is on the quarter system and midterms and now finals kinda snuck up on me.
> 
> Thank you all for the wonderful comments and all the Kudos. It is so greatly appreciated and would love to hear what you think of this chapter.


	4. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa promise to keep their relationship strictly professional. After a case that hits too close to home, it proves harder than they thought.  
> The Interns cause trouble and insubordination all around Seattle Grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's pretend I haven't been gone for months, yeah? Also I'm sorry it's the first time back in months and it's not exactly super Clexa-y. Is that a word? Anyway, I hope you guys like it.  
> Also I'm sorry, you may find some mistakes, but I write and edit myself so...yeah.

Clarke grew up an only child. She also wasn't very adept to making friends so having company in her place of living is a foreign concept to her.

 

She had one childhood best friend and they lost track of each other in Medical School. She was getting used to the idea of being on her own, especially with her mother being in a home.

 

But now?

 

“IS THAT MY TOOTH BRUSH?” Jaspers shrill voice calls out in the early hours of the morning.

 

Luckily Clarke was already out of bed and ready for work. She had even gotten an early start on her day and gotten some of her mothers’ paperwork together regarding the home she is in and her estate. Otherwise, Clarke would have ripped Jasper a new asshole for even considering raising his voice above a whisper during her sleep.

 

Sitting in her mothers office is strange. She was never allowed in here as a child. It was strictly prohibited. So naturally, she snuck in all the time, but it always brought a sense of not belonging. Like she was breaking the rules somehow. Even now.

 

Octavia is always the last one to get ready, which is both frustrating and inspiring. Because the girl is the last one out of bed, but the first one out the door. And somehow she still manages to look like a model.

 

So even though Jasper is in the shower, and Clarke is already ready for her day, Octavia wanders into the office in only her sleep shirt and Ninja Turtle underwear.

 

“Coffee?” Octavia holds out a mug for Clarke. The blonde takes it gratefully deciding that Octavia is already her favorite for the day.

 

“I’m more of a Power Ranger fan” Clare notes, nodding at the girls underwear. Octavia beams in response.

 

It’s 4:30 in the morning, something, as interns, they have all gotten used to. But sometimes being up before the sun just really blows.

 

At least they miss the morning traffic, so there’s a plus. They have taken to carpooling, because even though the three roommates don’t agree on a whole lot, they agree they can help each other out with a carpool.

 

“You don’t understand, Me: Gonads. You: Ovaries,” Jasper has been grumpy since the moment he stepped into Clarke’s beat up old Jeep. Apparently Octavia walked in while he was taking a shower to brush her teeth.

 

Clarke doesn’t understand the problem, but she rather stay out of it.

 

“Which reminds me,” Octavia speaks up just as they pull into a parking spot. “We’re out of tampons”.

 

“No, you don’t understand,” Jasper snaps, hurrying out of the Jeep to open Octavia’s door to yell at her. 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes and chooses to make her way to the hospital instead.

 

“You’re parading around in your underwear, barging in while I’m naked, showering” Jasper is trying to make a point, but he really isn’t going to get through to anyone. Octavia has already shoved past him and caught up to Clarke.

 

“Can you add it to the list please?” Is Octavia’s response instead.

 

“What?” Jasper’s voice rises an octave. This whole conversation clearly has him flustered.

 

“Tampons” Octavia repeats in a bored voice. Oh right! They’re out. Clarke may need to step in now.

 

“To the list,” Clarke adds helpfully “It’s your turn”

 

“I AM A MAN!” Jasper beings to yell, earning an eye roll from both women. “ I DON’T BUY GIRL PRODUCTS! I DON’T WANT YOU WALKING IN WHILE I’M IN THE SHOWER, AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU IN YOUR UNDERWEAR”

 

At this point they have made their way into the hospital, and luckily it’s only mostly staff, but Jasper needs to keep his volume under control.

 

“It doesn't bother me, ok? Look at me in my underwear, Jasper,” Octavia teases, grinning when Jasper’s face turns beat red. “Take your time. It's no big deal.”

 

This actually manages a laugh out of Clarke. Normally she ignores their banter, but this time she actually needed the tampons and Octavia was kind enough to offer her coffee. The elevator doors open and the women step right in.

 

Jasper stops in his tracks at the elevator door, looking like he wants to stomp is foot in protest.

 

“You coming?” Clarke asks, sticking her hand out to catch the closing doors.

 

“I’ll take the stairs,” he mutters petulantly.

 

* * *

“I better get a good patient today,” Clarke mutters as she ties her hair up into a pony tail.

 

Raven is already dressed and ready in her scrubs. She’s stretching her limbs, preparing for her day.

 

“I’m going to get a surgery today,” Raven states evenly, as if it’s not a huge deal. Clarke drops her hands to her sides, she’ll have to redo her pony tail.

 

“On what?” Clarke prods, she wants in on this.

 

“Like I’d tell you,” Raven scoffs, pulling on her white coat.

 

“What do you know?” Clarke investigates further, this time tying up her hair faster, not caring if it’s messy.

 

“I know that I was here at 4 and you were here at 4:30,” Raven smiles triumphantly.

 

Jasper enters the locker room doors looking annoyed and slightly out of breath.

 

“C’mon I had the chaos twins over there,” Clarke begs, looking over at Jasper who is avidly avoiding eye contact with her and Octavia, who once again is in only underwear. This time Power Rangers.

 

“Whats up with Bambi?” Raven furrows her brow at the situation, then literally waves it off, not caring enough.

 

“So you’ll tell me?” Clarke suggests innocently, she even tries to use a pout like Octavia does, but she doesn’t quite have it mastered like the younger girl.

 

“Pathetic,” Raven doesn’t even bat her eye at Clarke’s attempt. “No, I’m not telling the intern who’s screwing an attending”. Clarke widen her eyes at the Latina, and puts her index finger to her lips, telling the woman to lower her volume.

 

Raven pushes through the people getting changed and exits the locker room with Clarke in tow.

 

“I am not screw-“ Clarke however is unable to finish her hushed response because as soon as they exit the door they run into the attending in question.

 

Lexa, all scrubbed up and holding two coffee cups in her hands. Raven gestures to the woman without a word and continues down the hallway while Clarke gets caught up speaking to Dr. Woods.

 

“You’re here early,” Clarke notes, trying not to sound excited about this.

 

“I have a cordotomy at 5:00. I'll be out at 6:00.” Lexa hands over one of the coffee cups to Clarke, her smile widens when the blonde takes it gratefully “I thought I might buy your breakfast before your rounds.”

 

“I've already eaten,” Clarke shakes her head, trying to hide her smile from the insistent doctor.

 

“What'd you have?” Lexa asks, following Clarke down the hallway. The intern has to check on all of her patients now.

 

“None of your business,” Is Clarke’s easy response. While she hates listening to Jasper and Octavia’s banter so early in the morning, she doesn’t mind partaking in some banter this early. That is, if it’s with Dr. Woods.

 

“You a cereal person? Straight out of the box? Or all fruit and fiber-y?” Lexa laughs at the idea of a healthy Clarke. She shakes her head and continues. 

 

“Pancakes? Do you like pancakes? With those little chocolate chips in them? I bet you do. I bet you even like a whipped cream smiley face in your pancakes”

 

Clarke raises an eyebrow at her superior. Smiley face? Really?

 

“Frowny face?” Lexa adds as an after thought.

 

“Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?” The intern doesn’t have time to make herself breakfast, she’s lucky to sneak in a coffee most mornings. 

 

“That's sad. It's pathetic. A good day starts with a good breakfast.” Lexa informs her, a huge grin on her face. She thinks Clarke is ready to agree to breakfast.

 

“Look, I'm not being seen with you in this hospital.” That is where Clarke wants to draw the line with Dr. Woods. She wants to be taken seriously “ Learn it, live it. It's unprofessional”.

 

“I'm just an attending getting to know one of her interns” Lexa tells her innocently.

 

“She slept with said intern,” Clarke reminds her. Not that either of them need reminding.

 

“That I did,” Lexa states smugly then adds “Barely knew her”.

 

“And it should stay that way,” She states firmly. Clarke likes Lexa, there is no denying that. But it’s her first year as an intern, and  getting involved with a superior will bring on all sorts of mess. What would her mother say?

 

“You want me to be professional?” Lexa asks seriously, her demeanor changing immediately. The woman is taking it as a challenge  “I'll be professional.”

 

“That's what I want.” Clarke nods once. It’s absolutely not what she wants, but is what is best.

 

“Then that's what you get,” Lexa tells her and before it gets too serious, she winks at Clarke. She laughs and shakes her head at the  frustrating woman.

 

“You're gonna be late for your cordotomy,” Clarke tells her as they arrive to a nurses station. Indra is there looking over charts. She eyes the doctors curiously, causing Clarke to immediately straighten her posture and try to find ways to look less suspicious.

 

“ Nice talking to you, Dr. Grey.” Lexa nods politely at Clarke and then at Indra as she passes her on her way to her surgery.

* * *

 

 

Clarke dives straight into her work, trying to get the infuriating Doctor with bright green eyes out of her mind. She even tried looking for Raven, hoping to get in on whatever secret surgery she was keeping to herself.

 

But after searching for the Latina and coming up empty, she decided to check in on all her patients and check their charts. Thats when Jasper found her, of course.

 

“There needs to be some rules,” He jumps right into the conversation.

 

“So, what? We can walk around in our underwear on alternate Tuesdays?” Clarke begins, baffled at the man who is living under her roof and trying to set rules for her. So instead, she decides to multitasks and not really listen to Jasper. 

 

“Or you could see bras but not panties?” Clarke adds sarcastically as Jasper follows her around like a duckling who imprinted on her.

 

“Or are you talking Amish rules? Because if you think you're gonna get Octavia to cover herself…” Clarke laughs at the mere thought, poking her head into a room to make sure it is indeed empty before taking the chart from the door with her.

 

“The amount of flesh exposed is not the point. You have to do something. It's your house,” Jasper smiles and waves at a nurse who is playing too close attention to this conversation.

 

“It's my mother's house,” Clarke corrects. “And I am doing something.” 

 

“You are?” Jasper sounds relieved. 

 

Dr. Reid spots them in the hallway and waves at them. He also has a large smile on his face. Seriously, with how often Octavia and Lincoln are smiling? They should date just for that fact, they already look like a matching pair.

 

“I’m staying out of it,” Clarke tells him. Lincoln approaches them and furrow his brow, only hearing the last part of that  conversation.

 

“Clarke,” Jasper pleads, only barley acknowledging Lincoln’s presence.

 

“Do you like Octavia? Is that what this is about? Do you have a crush on her?” Clarke asks, mostly to see what kind of reaction she can get out of Lincoln, but also because it seems plausible. She doesn’t know Lincoln well enough to read him, but if she could guess? The idea of Jasper being attracted to Octavia doesn't seem to sit well with the taller man.

 

“Octavia?” Jasper scoffs nervously. “No. I don't like Octavia. She's not the one I'm attracted to,”

 

In all honestly, Clarke is barely paying attention, trying to finish up collecting the charts.

 

“Not the one.” Lincoln however, seems to be playing close attention. “So, there's a one?”

 

“This is not…” Jasper looks over to Lincoln, annoyed that the man joined the conversation without any sort of invitation, but then looks to Clarke instead“Look, there just have to be some rules,”

 

They stop at the desks so Clarke can place the old charts back where the need to be, but Indra approaches the trio before any of them can make themselves busy.

 

“Griffin, Jordan, Reid, head down to Trauma. Woods needs you” Indra doesn’t even bother to look at them when giving them instruction. 

 

“Wood's in surgery,” Clarke speaks up, though regretting it when all three Doctors look at her, confused as to why the intern knows the Doctor’s schedule"

 

“She got pulled before she could start,” Indra provides the answer slowly, looking at Clarke with narrowed eyes.

 

“Let’s go,” Lincoln takes hold of Clarke’s elbow, sensing the women's apprehension. He tugs her towards the elevator with Jasper just behind them.

 

“Not to make it weird or anything, but since Jasper said he’s not attracted to Octavia, do you guys know if she’s single?” Lincoln asks as soon as they have the elevator to themselves.

 

“Why would we know that?” Jasper answers grumpily. 

 

“You guys are roommates right?” Lincoln asks, probably wondering what he could have possibly done to put Jasper in a bad mood.

 

“She is single,” Clarke turns around to look at Lincoln “and as her roommate, I’d encourage you to make a move”.

 

The elevator dings and the doors slide open, ending the interns conversation for now. They walk right into Trauma 1 where nurses are cutting away at the clothes of a man laying on an exam table.

 

Dr. Woods sits on a chair next to the patient, looking him over, just over her shoulder though, that’s what catches the interns attention.

 

3 different scans of an X ray of the mans skull, but that’s not the interesting part.

 

“Those look like…” Clarke trails off, because there is no way.

 

“Nails,” Lincoln supplies.

 

Dr. Woods looks up from his patient at the three interns.

 

“That’s because they are. 7 of them,” Lexa looks at all three interns, and his eyes don’t even linger on Clarke’s. 

 

“I can't see my hands,” The man lying on the table speaks up, startling all three interns.

 

“ Oh my God! He's conscious.” Jasper looks like he’s turning green. Lincoln pats the man on the back.

 

“Breathe deeply Jordan. You won't pass out.” He tells the man kindly, but Jasper takes it as an insult and shrugs Lincoln’s hand off  of him.

 

Clarke watches the man lying before them in awe as he waves his hands before his face, trying to see them.

 

“Use 4 mg's of morphine. Titrate up to 10. You know what? I don't want him to move,” Lexa takes over the room with such control and ease, Clarke can’t help but to stop and admire the woman. She shakes that off because she did ask the doctor to be more professional, so she should abide by those same rules.

 

“I can't see,” The man is starting to get hysterical.

 

“It's ok. We need you to be very still, Mr…” Clarke trails off, looking for a name somewhere on the chart, but it’s empty, she’ll have to fill it in herself.

 

“Cruz, Jorge Cruz. He tripped and fell down a flight of stairs holding a nail gun,” An ER doctor provides the information.

 

“Crazy,” Lincoln whispers under his breath. He has bright eyes at the prospect of a surgery. Clarke locks eyes with him and they both smile. It’s all so exciting.

 

“Somehow he managed to miss a blood vessel. That's a minor miracle.” Lexa begins her tests, flashing, the light in the man’s eyes, then clicking it off and placing it in her pocket.

 

“Optic nerve's been affected. Can you feel this?” Lexa runs her tools across the mans right arm, when he is silent, she has her answer “Numbness on his right side. What's our immediate concern?”

 

“Infection,” Clarke supplies the answer quickly, scribbling away at her notes. She tries to lock eyes with Dr. Woods, but true to her word, Lexa remains professional.

 

“Right. I wanna be pulling these nails out in the next half-hour. I need a CT,” Lexa stands, maneuvering past Clarke without so much as a second glance.

 

“CT's are down,” The ER doctor gives them the bad news. Jasper still, staring in the corner looking like he wants to cry for the patient before them. Even more so with this information.

 

“What?” Lexa snaps, ready to fight for her patient already.

 

“They exchanged them out last night.” The Doctor lets them now “Computer's crashed; have them back up by 1:00.”

 

“So typical.” Lexa mutters“So what are the options?”

 

“An MRI?” Jasper is so off his game, looking at the conscious patient with nails in his head.

 

“No!” Lexa and Clarke snap at the same time.

 

“He’s got nails in his head” Lincoln speaks up gently, explaining to Jasper “It would be like putting him in a giant magnet.”

 

Jasper swallows slowly and nods at Lincoln, grateful that the man didn’t make fun of him for such a simple mistake.

 

“You want films from three axis points and a C-arm in surgery,” Lincoln provides the answer once he’s sure Jasper understood him.

 

Lexa looks at the attractive man, impressed. 

 

“Excellent! You guys dig up research and find out if this has ever happened before. Go!” Lexa waves off the men and continues to tend after her patient.

 

“My wife, my wife, my wife,” Jorge says it over and over again, likes it’s this mantra that is giving him the strength. Clarke looks to the ER doctor hoping they called her.

 

“She's on the way,” The doctor answers the wordless question.

 

“Your wife is on the way, Mr. Cruz,” Clarke tries to soothe the man.

 

“Stay with him, keep him calm and look for changes,” Lexa instructs the intern just as she would anybody else. Then she’s out of the door without another word. Probably to go fight with a technician about the CT.

* * *

 

 

After an exhausting morning, Clarke manages to grab a lunch on time, knowing very well that she could be called away at any moment. So she decides to go to the empty hallway to hide away from everyone.

 

“7 nails!” Raven screeches, her arms thrown up in exasperation as she spots Clarke on the hospital bed, eating her lunch.

 

“Karma’s a bitch isn’t it?” Clarke chuckles “You tried to keep the Whipple all to yourself.”

 

“Kane almost gave it to you too. I guess the patient was your moms scrub nurse, for like, 18 years.” Raven takes a seat next to Clarke and huffs at her bad luck.

 

“Really?” Clarke asks, unsure how she feels about that. What’s customary for this sort of thing? Does she visit the woman? She doesn’t even know her name. That’s something she should know right?

 

“Yeah she’s a huge pain in the ass,” Raven takes a bite out of Clarke’s sandwich without even asking.

 

“Heard you got a human 2 by 4” Octavia appears from down an empty hallway, looking disillusioned and tired.

 

“Yeah, and CT’s are down so Dr.Wood is kind of going in blind,” Clarke informs them.

 

“Bad ass,” Raven whispers in awe.

 

“So cool. I’ve got a patient who won’t let me touch him” Octavia plops down on an empty wheelchair.

 

“Thinks you have cooties?” Raven teases.

 

“Actually a huge fan of my work. He has my spread I did a whole add for that lingerie company. Bethany Whispers. He’s got that  along with a whole pile of dirty magazines in his room,” Octavia tells them. Clarke grimaces, how unfortunate.

 

“Damn tough luck” Clarke tells her sympathetically.

 

“Having great tits comes with a price I guess,” Raven teases. Octavia flips her the bird.

 

“Yeah, that one guy, Murphy, he’s giving me grief for it too. It’s gross.” Octavia sighs.

 

“Want me to beat him up?” Raven offers in a tired tone, they can tell she’s not joking.

 

“Yeah I wouldn’t mind in on that action” Clarke adds. Octavia looks genuinely touched by the offer, but waves them off.

 

 

“Nah, nothing has gotten out of hand or anything. Plus I can handle myself,” 

 

“No doubt in my mind about that” Clarke tells her friend.

 

“23 people!” Jasper calls out loudly. He and Lincoln come down the hallway with what looks like stacks of research and their lunch. 

 

“23 people have shot themselves in the head with a nail gun,” Lincoln elaborates for the confused women.

 

“Did you add it to the list?” Octavia ignores this interesting fact just to push Jasper’s buttons again. 

 

“Working on it!” Jasper raises his voice, hoping his volume will end the conversation. He takes a seat on the free hospital bed,  thinking Lincoln is going to join him, but instead the man stops next to Octavia.

 

“Add what to the list?” Lincoln asks conversationally.

 

“Nothing!” Jasper quickly tries to shut them up.

 

“Tampons” Clarke answers in a bored tone. “It’s his turn to go shopping.”

 

“And you have a problem with that?” Lincoln asks Jasper, sounding disgusted with the shorter man.

 

“I am a man! It’s the principle of it all!” Jasper shouts passionately.

 

All four interns look at the man, unimpressed with his stance on the issue.

 

“Dude, you’re a doctor, grow up,” Lincoln rolls his eyes. Octavia looks up at him with those love sick eyes that actually makes Raven and Clarke look at each other and gag.

 

Just then, three pagers go off. The interns assigned to Woods, look up in alarm.

 

“Gotta go!” Clarke pops one more chip into her mouth before smacking a loud kiss to Raven’s cheek.

 

“Karma’s a bitch!” She calls back to her friend.

 

“You got crumbs on my face!” Raven yells back, rubbing at her cheek. Clarke however is already down the hallway, with the two  men only a few steps behind her.

 

“You two dating?” Octavia asks, her eyes widen in realization. “Is that why she likes you better? That makes so much sense! I’m usually everyone’s favorite.

 

“No.” Raven snorts the idea, then takes on a curious expression and shrugs “She’s hot, but nah”

 

“Not into girls?” Octavia hums, suddenly losing interest in the conversation. She picks at her nails.

 

“Oh no, I swing every which way as long as you’re hot” Raven tells her. “In fact” She wags her eyebrows suggestively at Octavia.

 

“If I wasn’t trying to climb Lincoln like a tree, believe me, I’d be all over that” Octavia laughs. 

 

“Good to know,” Raven hums before taking a sip of her water bottle.

 

“I should set you up with my brother!” Octavia exclaims, brightening up suddenly. Water nearly shoots out of Raven’s nose at the suggestion.

 

“You’re exactly what he needs to bring down that ego of his” The woman is oblivious to the Latina’s discomfort. 

 

“Actually, technically he’d be your boss and i’m pretty sure that’s frowned upon. Though if we’re talking about breaking the rules for an attending how about Wood’s? She’s smoking. And bad ass” Octavia continues on through. Raven’s relieved at how quick the younger Blake was able to change the topic on her own. 

 

“McDreamy? Oh yeah, i’d break a few rules for her” Raven says in hopes of keeping the topic away from the older Blake.

 

“McDreamy?” Octavia tests the name out. “I like it. Though have you noticed how Clarke practically undresses the woman with her  eyes?”

 

Raven smirks at the comment but then shrugs.

 

“Aren’t we all doing that?” The Latina asks. Octavia seems to contemplate it for a moment before agreeing with a nod.

 

Octavia’s pager goes off, garnering a sigh from the short woman.

 

“Better get going to check on the patient who can’t even look me in the eye” She pulls herself out of the wheelchair dramatically.

 

“That’s probably because the last time he looked at you he…” Raven trails off. Octavia flips her off and continues down the same  hallway the last interns took.

 

Raven takes this moment to stretch out on the bed and get comfortable. Just as soon as she closes her eyes for a nap though, her own pager goes off.

 

“Mother Fu-“

 

* * *

Woods and her interns are in the scrub room, going over the game plan. Lexa scrubs at her arms rigorously as she gets all the information she can get.

 

“Vertiginous or light-headedness?” She asks Clarke who’s the one who has been with Jorge and his wife the last few hours.

 

“Light-headed.” Clarke answers “Sometimes he'd have to brace himself to get out of bed.”

 

“Could be a million things.” Lexa shoots down the idea. “Simple orthostasis.” Clarke shakes her head, unconvinced, but says nothing “What?” Lexa asks, prompting the intern to speak.

 

“What made him fall down the stairs with a nail gun?” Clarke asks, the question had been mulling over in her head after talking to Jorge’s wife.

 

They were a lovely couple. Still so in love after all these years. It made Clarke wonder if she would every find something like that.

 

“He said he tripped.” The Doctor tells the Intern dismissively.

 

“Something caused him to lose consciousness and fall down the stairs.” Clarke tells her boss passionately. How could the Neurosurgeon so easily dismiss this? 

 

“He could have a tumor.”

 

“Look, I have no idea why this guy's still alive, let alone moving and talking. Not a clue.” Lexa tells Clarke, then it’s as if she remembers there are more people in the room and looks to Lincoln and Jasper 

 

“Let's just get him through this before we start digging around for something else. What did you two find?”

 

“There were 23 similar cases” Jasper tells Woods eagerly, hoping to make up for his earlier slip up.

 

“23 cases?” Woods asks, wide eyes.

 

“One as attempted suicide.” Lincoln adds

 

“Yeah, that doesn't count. Talk about procedure.” Lexa finishes scrubbing up, so she holds her hands out in front of her, waiting to  hear more information before walking into the OR.

 

“Biggest problems were bleeding and infection but the odds improved with shorter surgery times.” Jasper provides the information Lexa is looking for. She nods at him as if telling him he has done a good job.

 

“Bottom line was get them out quickly and watch for bleeding.” Lincoln simplifies. Lexa bites her lip and shakes her head.

 

“I got it. Other words, I'm on my own.” She sighs when the men in front of her nod. “Well, it’s a beautiful day to save lives” 

 

Lexa takes one more look at her interns, then moves to the OR to begin her surgery.

 

* * *

 

“I’m so tired,” Clarke groans stepping into an on-call room. She immediately climbs into the nearest bed. 

 

“At least your tired because of a surgery!” Raven complains, she climbs over Clarke, taking the side nearest to the wall and plops down.

 

“At least you actually practiced medicine!” Octavia follows her friends into the on-call room and lays down next to Clarke, but because the bed is no bigger than a twin, the women are practically on top of one another.

 

“You guys know there are like 4 beds in here right?” Clarke asks her friends, but neither of them say a word.

 

“I missed observing the surgery of a lifetime because I was running around this hospital making sure Liz Fallon got every test possible. And still no whipple!” Raven complains instead of moving to another bed so they are more comfortable.

 

“You missed it?” Octavia sots up slightly to look at Raven’s pain expression. “It was pretty life changing”

 

“You’re making her feel worse” Clarke groans, turning on her side to face away from Raven’s pouting.

 

“Well if it makes you feel any better the Drill Sergeant ripped me a new asshole because my patient wouldn’t let me see his” Octavia speaks up,

 

Clarke frowns at Octavia and Raven literally pops her head over Clarke’s shoulder just so the young intern can see the confused and disgusted look on her face.

 

“Prostate exam” Octavia offers the explanation.

 

“Ooooooh” Both Clarke and Raven sing in understanding. 

 

“Do you know how long Nurse Fallon was a scrub nurse for my mom?” Clarke asks Raven to take her mind off the thoughts rolling around in her mind.

 

She doesn’t want to think about how Lexa has been doing just as she said and being nothing but professional with her. Which was actually worse than she thought it would be.

 

She doesn't want to think about how infuriating it actually is because before at least Lexa would indulge her and now, Clarke can feel just how right she is about Jorge and how when they get the scans tomorrow, it’ll show that he has a tumor.

 

He doesn’t want to think of Jorge and his wife Sona, who are just so kind and in love. She doesn’t want to think about any of it.

 

She doesn’t want to think about any of it.

 

“18 years.” Raven answers, her voice falling to a whisper. 18 years. That’s a lifetime.

 

“Are you all on call tonight?” Raven asks, already falling asleep. 

 

“Mhm” Clarke hums, her mind occupied on other thoughts.

 

The door creeks open to reveal a tired Lincoln and Jasper.

 

“Oh sorry we can find another room” Lincoln is already, trying to turn around.

 

“No worries” Octavia yawns, then flats her arm around the room, gesturing at the empty beds. “As you can see there are plenty of beds.”

 

“I can” Lincoln chuckles. Jasper climbs to a top bunk on the other side of the room. “I’m sure there are more comfortable ways to sleep”

 

“I’m pretty cozy” Clarke hums, following Raven’s lead in falling asleep.

* * *

 

 

 

The next morning finds Clarke waiting for Dr. Woods to arrive at the hospital. So she takes to wandering the halls. But there is a name she keeps hearing from all the nurses: Nurse Fallon. It seems the woman was a pretty big deal around here. 

 

So Clarke decides it’s probably time to visit the woman.

 

When she approaches the woman room however, there’s a large group coming out. She finds herself pushing through the people to get into the room.

 

“Hm, I think I know your mother” Are Nurse Fallon’s first words to Clarke.

 

“You were her scrub nurse.” The blonde offers politely.

 

“Liz Fallon. Come in” Liz waves Clarke in the rest of the way.

 

“Clarke Griffin,” Clarke reaches out to shake the woman hand. “She wanted me to send her regards.”

 

“That doesn't sound like her.” Liz furrow her brow at Clarke.

 

“Excuse me?” Clarke is taken slightly aback at how glib the woman is.

 

“Well, the Abbigail Griffin I know didn't have regards for anyone exceptAbbigail Griffin”. But you know that already, don't you?” Liz points out. Clarke lets the comments settle. Liz isn't wrong, but not may people would say that about a world renowned Doctor. “Where is she now?”

 

“Traveling.” Clarke offers her usual response, but liz doesn’t seem to bite.

 

“Traveling?” She’s more than a little skeptical.

 

“Yeah.” Clarke offers lamely.

 

“Huh. Is she practicing?” Liz is trying to poke holes in the obvious lie.

 

“Not so much.” Clarke can’t even lie there. It’s something that can be easily disproven.

 

“Oh. Doesn't sound like her, either. She was all work, just like me. She never left the hospital. But you know that, too, don't you? Is she well?” That’s the question that hits Clarke. Why would it be so hard to tell this woman. It’s clear she new her so well.

 

“She's fine.” Is what Clarke says instead.

 

“Good.” Liz smiles, but it comes out flat.

 

“Just wanted to send her regards.” Clarke forces out a smile. She better get out of there before she exposes to much, “Take care.” 

 

Clarke turns on her heel and exits the room with Liz Fallon’s eyes following her until she is out of sight.

 

“Yeah…” The woman remains unconvinced with the whole conversation.

 

“Everything okay?” Raven barges into the room, having come down the opposite hallway exited from, she just missed her, the door slams slightly against the wall.

 

“You don't wake a patient like that. What do I have to do to get through to you?” Liz asks Raven impatiently. Raven looks at the Nurse, confused.

 

“You weren’t sleeping,” She states.

 

“I could have been” Liz defends

 

“Cut me some slack. I was on call last night. I didn't get much sleep” Raven grumbles.

 

“Oh, stop whining. You'd rather be here, and you know it.” Liz tells Raven. At this precise moment Dr. Bellamy Blake decides it’s time to check on his patient. He walks over to the edge of her bed and smiles in greeting and because Liz is busy lecturing Raven, she only offers a nod in greeting. 

 

“What you got waiting for you at home? Boyfriend?” Liz asks. Raven’s eyes flicker over to Bellamy. The man doesn’t even look up from the chart.

 

“Nope.” Raven shakes her head, only then dos Bellamy raise his gaze.

 

“A girlfriend?” Liz prods even further.

 

“Not recently” Raven answers through gritted teeth.

 

“A pet? Family?” Liz continues on. Raven decides it’s enough questions, so she gives the woman an answer:

 

“A bed.”

 

“We got plenty of beds here. I don't feel sorry for you. This is who we are. This is our lives. You tell her, Dr. Blake” Liz prompts the Doctor, giving him permission to enter the conversation, but Raven thinks better of it.

 

“Can I talk to you?” She directs at the Doctor.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Octavia woke up, both Meredith and Raven were nowhere to be seen. Lincoln and Jasper are gone as well. She decides she should probably change into a clean pair of scrubs before going on her morning rounds.

 

That’s where she finds Jasper, at the entrance of the locker room, looking at something taped on the door.

 

“Did you get them?” Octavia asks, yawning. Her voice startles Jasper, sending him flat against the locker room door with wide, scared eyes.

 

“What? No, not yet. But I’ll-“ Octavia cuts him off there.

 

“You’re killing me Jordan, move I need to get changed” She tries shoving Jasper aside, but he just fervently shakes his head.

 

“You look great. Beautiful even. You don’t need to change” He tells her quickly.

 

“What’s going on? I need to change” Lincoln smiles at Octavia, but then turns to glare at Jasper.

 

“No nothing. You guys both look great.” Jasper shakes his head.

 

“I don’t have time for this” Octavia pushes Jasper out of the way.

 

What she is greeted with she couldn’t have imagined. The locker room is covered wth pictures of Octavia in various states of undress. It’s all from her Bethany Whisper ad she did the previous year. The pictures are taped to every surface and the rest of the interns are laughing as shock registers on her face.

 

Lincoln who was one step behind her, looks around in confusion. Then looks back at the door where Jasper was trying to hide another picture taped to it. The interns begin to cheer and whistle as Octavia tries to push to her locker, ignoring everyone.

 

Meanwhile Jasper and Lincoln attempt to remove as many photocopies of the add as possible.

 

“Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! We have Bethany Whisper in our locker room.” John Murphy, and intent who hasn’t exactly been pleasant since day one appears from around a locker, holding the magazine in hand. He looks smug about the whole scenario, clearly all done by his hand.

 

Octavia ignores him and moves to her locker, reaching to her top shelf, causing her top to raise an inch, revealing a small butterfly tattoo on her hip.

 

“Oh, boy, I guess they do airbrush out the tattoo, don't they?” Murphy leans Octavia’s locker, effectively slamming the door shut.

 

Lincoln steps forward, face hard, but Octavia is already taking a step to Murphy.

 

“You want to see it? You really want to see it? Fine.” Octavia’s voice is even as she stares into Murphy’s eyes. She removes her shirt over her head and presses it back into Lincoln’s chest for him to hold. 

 

“Let's look at that tattoo up close and personal, shall we?” She points to the tattoo on her hip, spinning around so everyone in the locker room can see.

 

By now however, the chatter and the cheers have died down.

 

“And what are these?” Octavia cups at her breasts dramatically, her voice beginning to raise. “Oh, my God! Breasts! How does anybody practice medicine hauling these things around?” 

 

Octavia moves around the locker room so everyone can get a good look at her. She’s furious, letting her rage out. All her frustration for her patient and form everyone giving her grief about being a model.

 

“And what do we got back here?” The intern looks over her shoulder, removing her hair from a poiny tail and pushing it over her shoulder so everyone can see what she is doing. 

 

“Let's see if I remember my anatomy.” She states sarcastically, removing her pants in one go. 

 

“Glutes, right? Let's study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that put Octavia Blake through med school.” Octavia is angry like no one has ever seen. She’s usually ha[[y and smiley but now? She looks around the room, nostrils flared and voice raised above an appropriate volume.

 

Everyone is silent now, embarrassed that they partook in the joke. Murphy looks down at his feet, no longer as smug as he was when they first stepped in.

 

Jasper has taken a pause from removing all of the photocopies to admire Octavia and her passion and her guts to stand up to everyone. As does Lincoln, who has a serious look of contemplation.

 

“Have you had enough or should I continue? Because I have a few more very interesting tattoos.” Octavia looks pointedly at Murphy, but his face is full of shame.

 

“You want to call me Dr. Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're sitting on 200 grand of student loans, I'm out of debt.” She tells everyone on the locker room. Octavia takes her shirt out of Lincoln’s hands, who stands there, stunned, and storms off to finish changing in the bathroom.

 

“Take this shit down” Lincoln growls at Murphy once he’s recovered. “I don’t yell at people when I’m mad.”

 

Lincoln turns around, nearly running into Jasper with a handful of torn down photocopies. Lincoln gives Jasper a nod, but exits the locker room, having forgotten that he was going to change after all of that commotion.

 

* * *

 

 

Raven woke up first out of the three interns that morning an made it her mission to schedule a Whipple on the board for Dr. Blake. She ran around making sure all labs had been done and everything was in order.

 

She finds Dr. Blake just outside Liz’s room.

 

“Have you seen her overnight labs?” Raven doesn’t bother with small talk, she gets right to it. It’s almost as if Bellamy had anticipated her presence because he doesn’t even flinch, he just continues to look over the chart.

 

“I have.” He nods once barely lifting his gaze to meet Raven’s.

 

“Did you check her liver panel?” Raven persists, trying not to cross a line by raising her voice at her superior.

 

“They're not good.” Bellamy hums, putting down the chart so he can look at Raven in the eye.

 

“No, they suck. She's choking on bile. She's jaundiced.” Raven begins to name off everything she has had to deal with when it comes to Liz Fallon. She wants Bellamy to see what she’s had to deal with.

 

“A very sick woman.” Bellamy agrees.

 

“Why haven't you scheduled the Whipple?” She knows she shouldn’t be questioning her superior out here in the open, but she can’t be patient anymore.

 

“Well, are you a surgeon now?” There’s a hint of teasing to his tone.

 

“I'm her cruise director,” Raven bites back sarcastically, “Pushing her around all day. The woman is circling the drain. We need to do something”

 

“I'll take a look at her biopsy” Bellamy tells her dismissively, almost frustrated that Raven hasn't figured something out.

 

“Screw the biopsy.” Rave.n growls

 

“Dr. Reyes…” Bellamy uses a warning tone.

 

“Enough. You know what I think? I think you never intended to do the Whipple.” She pokes Bellamy at the center of his chest. He looks down at her finger, then back at her, unimpressed.

 

“I think this entire thing has been bull, and you're behaving like the only reason she's in this hospital is to die.” Finally she’s said it. And the words begin to settle. She looks at Bellamy, his eyebrows raised, as if saying ‘you’re right’.

 

Raven deflates, as much as the woman has been a pain in her ass, this is the last thing she wanted to hear.

* * *

 

 

 

When Clarke awoke that morning, she felt a little hollow and not just because Raven left them there without bothering to wake them up to get a start on the day. Though Octavia is still sound asleep slightly curled into Clarke. The blonde doesn’t have the heart to wake her up.

 

So she goes straight to Jorge’s room. Lexa has just entered with what looks like Jorge’s MRI. She quietly enters the room. Lexa looks back only briefly, then turns her attention to her patient.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you” Lexa tells Son and Jorge. Jorge, still being unable to see, only tilts his head in the direction of his doctor. While Sona watches Dr. Woods carefully.

 

Lexa approaches the light board and places the scans of Jorge’s brain. He looks to Sona and then points to a spot on the scan.

 

“There. That's a tumor. It's midline near the hypothalamus.”Lexa tells them sadly. He locks eyes with Clarke and nods at her. She was right.

 

“Best practice, probably to remove the tumor.” Lexa tells them in her professional tone, but she looses that and looks at Sona.“ I say "Probably" because I can't get it all. 99%, but not all of it. Radiation and chemo, you're looking at maybe five to ten good years.”

 

There it is, the bomb Clarke has been waiting for Dr. Woods to drop. The inevitability.

 

“Let's do it.” Jorge agrees to it allot quickly.

 

Clarke’s eyes widen, wanting to step in, but she knows Lexa will cover all of her bases.

 

“You haven't heard the downside.” Lexa begins to explain. 

 

“See, the tumor is located in a part of your brain where your memory and your personality resides. And because of the fuzzy edges of this type of tumor, I have to cut out a lot.” She tells them in the simplest of terms. Sona looks to Dr. Woods. But Lexa is looking straight at her patient.

 

“Jorge, you stand a good chance of losing your memories. Of losing who you are.” Lexa explains. Clarke releases a breath she was unaware she had been holding in. There’s no way anyone would still want that surgery. Why risk losing who you are. Losing the memories of your wife? After seeing the way her mother has wasted away, Clarke knows it should be an easy decision.

 

“Is there any other way?” Sona asks, hopefully. The woman turns to Clarke, hoping maybe the intern has an idea.

 

“The alternative is gamma or cyberknife treatment with focus radiation. It's less evasive. There's little chance of memory loss or him losing himself but it would only give Jorge maybe three to five years.” Lexa explains. Clarke knows this is the decision to go with, there really is no point talking about it anymore.

 

“Three to five years?” Sona asks, deflating, all hope gone.

 

“This is an incredibly difficult decision. If you have any more questions or you need to talk to me, I'm here, ok?” Lexa smiles softly at them. She gives Jorge’s forearm a squeeze and moves to Sona, doing the same to her shoulder, showing them her support, then leads Clarke a very bewildered Clarke out the room.

 

Difficult? How is this difficult?

 

Dr. Woods looks like she wants to have a word with Clarke, but the blonde can’t even look at her. There is no decision to be made, going with the first option is like killing Jorge themselves.

 

Instead she storms off.

 

She ends up at Liz’s door, contemplating what she wants to say. Liz hasn’t progressed well over night. It’s clear it’s hard for her to breathe, even in her sleep.

 

Liz must feel Clarke’s eyes on her because she opens her own and beckons Clarke in with the wave of a hand.

 

“Hey.” Liz greets, wordlessly offering a chair to Clarke. The blonde smiles and takes a seat, scooting it a bit closer to Liz

 

“I told my mother about you. She remembers you very well.” Before going to bed the previous night, Clarke couldn’t get her mom and Liz out of her mind. How she was never mentioned. So she visited her mom for no longer than ten minutes, just to see how she was doing and check in. She had mentioned Liz’s name and Abbigail had smiled and looked out into the distance in a way that means she’s not really all there, but then she had told Clarke that Liz was a wonderful scrub nurse.

 

“ Of course she would. Abbigail Griffin never forgot a thing.” Liz nods. Clarke chuckles at that.

 

“Mmm” She tries to hold back her laughter, but she can’t “Oh. I'm sorry. It's not really funny. It's not funny, but-“ Clarke is laughing a full belly laugh at this point. Liz looks the girl up and down and it’s like she’s figured it all out.

 

“What's her diagnosis?” Liz asks, knowingly, this cuts off Clarke’s laughter

 

“Alzheimer's, early onset.” Clarke tells her.

 

“And she doesn't want anyone to know.” Liz hums in a very knowing a disapproving manner.

 

“ No. She's in a nursing home and I'm the only person she'll allow to see her.” Clarke explains with a sight.

 

“But if I know Abby Griffin,” Clarke perks up at the name, no one has called her mother than in years. “She made the nursing home sign a contract to that effect.”

 

“You know my mother well.” Clarke nods seriously, both women look at each other.

 

“What a bitch.” Liz notes with disdain. 

 

This causes them both to chuckle, because it is so true and no one knows it more than these two women.

* * *

 

 

 

Octavia, still frustrated with how her morning started off, storms into her patients room. She’s had enough of Mr. Humphrey yelling at her to get out. She’s had enough of him questioning her ability as a doctor.

 

She storms into his the room and slaps a left over photocopy onto the table.

 

“This is who I was. It has nothing to do with who I am now. I'm a physician, a surgeon. And I am just as qualified as any other intern on this floor. So, you're just gonna have to get over you chauvinist crap and allow me to do my job.” She tells the man without giving him a chance to speak. He looks down at the very picture that started all of this nonsense, then looks up at Octavia.

 

“I'm sure you're a very good doctor.” He tells her softly.

 

“Then what is your problem?” She asks him, frustrated.

 

“Look. I fantasized about you,” Tells her honestly“about the woman in this photo, whoever she is. I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact. Do you know what they're gonna do to me today?” Mr. Humphrey asks Octavia.

 

She does know. Both her and Indra weren't exactly happy with the game plan the surgeon wanted to go with. He is still so young, and they decided to just cut the tumor out and then some, so the Cancer won’t come back. It’s a very aggressive way of going at it, and completely unnecessary, but it is the easier option.

 

“I have cancer. And they're gonna lift up my legs and expose me to the world and cut out my prostate and my nerves, effectively neuter me. So, is it so hard to understand that I don't want the woman who's in that photo to witness my emasculation?” He tells her. Octavia had not even considered that this was what was going through this mans head.

 

Even if she had been having trouble all this time with him, she still wants to fight for her patient. And that’s what she is going to do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s a beautiful day in Seattle, so the women decided it was a great day to eat lunch outside. Clarke’s gotten lost in thought about her mother and jorge. And Lexa. And how all those things are coming together and she does not like it one bit.

 

“I don’t appreciate how you just left Clarke high and dry this morning, like we were just another string of your one night stands Reyes” Octavia tells Raven dramatically.

 

“It’s all you’re gonna get from me babe” Raven smirks. “I’m all about work and-“ She groans “Fallon was right. Oh god, I’m her. She’s going to die in this hospital and so am I”

 

“The woman's life was this hospital. It was her home. It's a sweet thing for them to do.” Octavia shrugs.

 

“It's a waste of a bed, and it's a waste of my time.” Raven huffs out, annoyed.

 

“Who are we talking about?” Clarke asks, shaking away her thoughts and joining the conversation.

 

“Liz Fallon. They brought her here to die.” Raven supplies.

 

“Wouldn't you want them to do the same thing for you?” Octavia asks, even Clarke wants to know the answer. Raven Reyes lives and breathes the hospital life, what else would she want.

 

“No! You know what, I'd want the doctors to do everything they could. I'd want them to cut me open until the minute I die.” Ok, that does sound more like Raven, but Clarke shakes her head.

 

“Sometimes doing everything can be worse than doing nothing.” She tells her. Raven rolls her eyes and begins to flip through the Magazine she brought out.

 

“You’re petite. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there.” Raven literally points to Octavia as she notes all of her attributes.

 

“If I were you I'd walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have a job. I wouldn't have skills. I wouldn't even know how to read. I'd just be naked.” Raven tells Octavia. The younger Blake filled them in on what happened, not that they needed to hear it form her personally, all of the interns wouldn’t shut up about it.

 

“It's makeup. It's retouching.” Octavia waves it off.

 

“You get that we hate you, right?” Raven deadpans, earning a laugh from Octavia, but Clarke nods seriously form her other side. Octavia’s pager goes off. It’s from Indra.

 

“ Drill Sergeant again.” She sighs. She's dreading her patients surgery.

 

“You know what, any patient who spanks to his doctor's pictures forfeits his rights.” Raven looks disgusted by her own statement.

 

“You're seriously not gonna give up the prostatectomy, are you?” Clarke asks Octavia, but she’s ignoring her friends 

 

“O? Forget it.” Raven scoffs. “You know, sometimes it is actually, you know, painful to be around you.”

 

“I should go” Octavia sighs when her pager goes off again. 

 

Octavia finds herself int the scrub room not five minutes later with Dr. Indra already scrubbed up and looking impatient as ever.

 

“Where the hell have you been? When I page, you answer. It's not that difficult to understand.” Through the window Octavia can see Jasper wheel in Mr. Humphrey to the OR.

 

“Jordan answered his page. He's doing your prep. If I hear the words Bethany Whisper one more time…” Indra warns the woman when she’s about to protest.

 

“I can't, ok? I just can't. He doesn't want me in there.” Octavia doesn’t even bother trying to scrub up, she won’t be going in there.

 

“No, what he wants is to not have cancer. What he wants is to be saved. You want to stay in the scrub room, that's your choice.” Indra spins on her heel and leaves Octavia. Octavia decides maybe she needs some air.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke finds herself outside of Jorge’s room yet again. Only this time, she doesn’t want to step a foot inside. Lincoln appears at her side, watching as Dr. Woods talks to them.

 

Lexa smiles and nods a few times before she exits to greet her interns.

 

“Jorge and Sona want the surgery.” Lexa tells them both.

 

“They want you to cut it out?” Clarke asks, anger already starting to bubble inside. how could they so reckless. So ungrateful of the chance they have been given? Her mother didn’t get a choice.

 

“Mm-hmm. It's their decision.” Lexa nods, watching Clarke’s reaction.

 

“Wouldn’t that mean they’re killing him?” Lincoln asks the very question Clarke is thinking. It surprises Clarke that he would have the nerve to say that to their superior.

 

“I don't want to hear you saying that to my patient” Lexa snaps at Lincoln. “Do you understand?”

 

“No.” Lincoln stands by his statement. Lexa steps back slightly, surprised that he would talk to her like that

 

“Then you are off this case!” Lexa raises her voice at the man. Lincoln’s hard glare falters.

 

“Lexa..” His voice drops to a whisper, surprising Clarke with the familiarity in his tone.

 

“I said you are off Reid!” Lexa yells. Lincoln shuts his mouth, hardens his gaze and nods. Leaving them alone.

 

What the hell was that all about. Clarke wants to ask Lexa, but they are still to remain professional, plus she’s angry at her. So she too, leaves her there?

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Finally, Raven decided to stand up to her patient. Nurse Fallon might be hot shit with everyone at Seattle Grace, but she’s no Raven Reyes.

 

“They were never gonna operate.” Is the first thing Liz says to her when she steps into the room. Well so much for her interrogation.

 

“You could have told me.” Raven huffs dramatically.

 

“What fun would that have been? Think of it as a hazing ritual.” Liz reaches over to take Raven’s hand. “Welcome” She smiles, then begins to couch, choking on her own bile.

 

“Liz, don't talk. Don't talk. Liz, just” Raven tells her frantically moving her ed from a sitting position to a laying one.

 

Machines begin to beep loudly.

 

“Liz? Liz, stay, Liz, stay with me. Stay with me, Liz.” Raven coaxes the woman. She presses a blue button behind the bed on the wall

 

“Code Blue!” Raven calls out loudly.

 

A code team rushes into the room, ready for action.

 

“Let's go.” One Doctor begins, following Raven’s lead.

 

“Here we go. Bag her. Push epi and atropine.” Someone else says. With all of the chaos, Raven looks lost for the first time ever in a  hospital.

 

“Somebody page Blake!”

 

Raven takes the paddles to Liz’s chest. Her heart has stopped.

 

“Stop compressions!” Raven orders. “Clear!” She sends the electrical current, but nothing happens. Still no heart activity.

 

One of the nurses grabs Liz’s chart and looks up at Raven.

 

“She's DNR. She's DNR. Do not resuscitate! Dr. Reyes!” Only Raven ignores the man.

 

“Come on, people! Push another epi! Come on!” Raven moves the paddles and continues compressions.

 

 

* * *

 

After a moment to cool down, Clarke decides to grab herself a coffee. There she finds Sona. With Dr. Woods nowhere in sight, she decides it’s her chance.

 

“Sona, can I talk to you for a second?” Clarke asks the woman gently. Sona is clearly exhausted but she trusts Clarke so she moves out of the line to have a word with her.

 

“Of course Dr.Griffin, is everything alright?” She asks, worriedly.

 

“I’m afraid not. I’m not sure Dr. Woods properly explained everything.You need to consider what you'll lose. What good is five years if he doesn't joke about your omelets and he can't remember seeing you in that red dress?” Clarke explains to the woman. Sona takes a moment of pause, but she’s resolute in her answer.

 

“It's still five more years.” She tells Clarke passionately.

 

“You don't understand. He'll be there, but he won't be Jorge. He won't even recognize you.” Clarke wants to make the woman understand. She wants her to see. Se would give anything to have her real mother back for 5 years as opposed to the shell she has now for 10.

 

“This is our business.” Sona snaps, already turning away from the Doctor.

 

“You have no idea what this will do to you. Isn't five good years better than ten bad ones?” Clarke insists, what she doesn’t know is Lexa s just behind her, listening to the whole thing.

 

“Clarke, what the hell are you doing?” Lexa snaps angrily, turning a few heads. Gently pulling her back by the shoulders

 

“She needs to understand.” Clarke shoves off her hands.

 

“I do understand. You think that I'm being selfish, that I don't want to give him up.” Sona lets angry tears run down her face, accusing Clarke.

 

“I don’t.” Clarke quickly disagrees.

 

“This is Jorge's decision. And it that means ten bad years for me, fine. I'll give him those years because I will give him whatever he wants.” Sina crues.

 

“Look, I am so sorry, Sona. Just please forgive her. She's an intern.” Lexa pulls Clarke back gently again, dragging her away.

 

“And if he doesn't remember me, if he doesn't remember what we are, he's still my Jorge. And I'll remember for us both.” Sona sobs, turning away from Clarke. Clarke is left, shocked.

 

“Ok, all right.” Lexa sighs, moving to comfort his patients wife.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy Blake had had a relatively normal morning. Except for the fact that there were pictures of his sister in lingerie in the elevator, it was actually a decent day.

 

He had performed his surgeries without a hitch and was even having fun messing with Raven Reyes when it came to performing a whipple. But now? Now nurses are paging him to a code blue on a patient that very specifically has a DNR.

 

He enters the room to see Raven performing CPR.

 

“Five, breathe, one, two.” Raven continues compressions

 

“What the hell are you two doing?” Blake snaps, pushing people out of his way to reach Raven

 

“We lost pulse.” Raven tells him evenly.

 

“Let her go.” Bellamy commands, but Raven ignores him.

 

“Where's that epi?” Raven asks around the room, but no one is moving.

 

“Let her go! She's DNR. Let her go down.” Blake raises his voice even more, but Raven does not stop the compressions.

 

“Four, five. One, two.” She continues. He steps behind Raven and pulls her off.

 

“Do not resuscitate.” Bellamy explains calmly, reading the distraught look on Ravens face.

 

“All right.” Raven raises her hands in surrender, out of breath.

 

“It is on her chart.” Bellamy explains calmly.

 

“All right” Raven repeats.

 

“Let her go down. Let her go down.” He tells her softly, causing Raven to finally look at him.

 

“Dr. Pinosky” Bellamy looks to a man standing by Liz’s monitor. He nods and shuts it off.

 

“You ever called one?” Bellamy asks Raven.

 

“No.”

 

“Call it doctor.” The voice of Chief Kane booms from the door. He had been observing the whole thing and no one realized.  Everyone around the room straightens, their demeanors from sad to professional in an instant.

 

Raven nods and looks to her watch.

 

“Time of death, 11:43.”

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia returns to the scrub room about an hour later. Jasper is there, observing.

 

“Where are they?” She asks him, forgetting about their fight.

 

“He's resecting the prostate, coming up on the distal nerve.” Jasper tells her, looking away from the OR to look at Octavia.

 

“You said, “I’m a man" Do you feel like I was emasculating you?” Octavia asks, looking back at the OR.

 

“No. No.” Jasper returns his gaze to the surgery. “I'm too masculine to be emasculated.” He smiles, teasing Octavia.

 

“I'm sorry.” Octavia offers, he shrugs. It’s all in the past.

 

“Guess you put Dr. Model to rest.” Jasper grins at his friend

 

“Guess I did.” Octavia grins back.

 

Dr. Indra’s voice rings out through the intercom.

 

“Dr. Victor, I'm sorry, these are viable nerves. We should try and save them.” She attempts to vouch for her patient. 

 

“It'll take at least an hour longer, and we might not get it all.” The Doctor shoots down the idea quickly.

 

“You know, they call him Limp Harry.” Octavia tells Jasper. Jasper grimaces.

 

“But his prognosis with chemo is nearly as good. And frankly, if you're worried about missing your tee time, I'd be more than happy to finish.” Indra tries to argue, but then Octavia steps in.

 

“Dr. Blake”

 

“ Can we help you?” Dr. Victor asks, an air of superiority surrounds him that already, Octavia can’t stand, but she doesn’t budge.

 

“I'm sorry, Dr. Indra. Dr. Victor, I agree with her. You just can't, you have to save the nerves.” She tells them passionately.

 

“What?” Dr. Victor is dumbfounded.

 

“The nerves, you have to save them.” Octavia reiterates.

 

“Dr. Blake, I can handle this.” Indra tries to cut her intern off.

 

“You told me the most important thing is giving the patient what they want. What Humphrey wants is his erection.” Octavia tells the  Doctors. Everyone on the room stills.

 

“She's yours. You get her out.” Dr. Victor growls at Indra.

 

“Can't do that sir. You know how these young puppies are.” Indra tells him in a bored tone.

 

“I'm going to tell Marcus about both of you. I on’t care who your brother is” He looks directly at Octavia but she doesn’t budge.

 

“ You do that. In the meantime, let's pretend it's you on this table and give this a try.” Indra snaps. Octavia grins, even when Indra looks back at glares at her, it doesn’t falter. Indra gives Octavia a wink, then turns back to her work.

* * *

 

 

Lincoln can’t stop thinking about his patient, even after Dr. Woods kicked him off the case, he can’t put it out of his mind. He’s taken to doing cardio in the stairwell, because almost no one uses it and it manages to clear his mind, but he’s on the fifth floor, catching his breath when he hears two people enter.

 

“You can’t lost it like that!” Someone reprimands.

 

“I’ll get her ch-“ Raven’s voice rings up the stairwell. Now normally Lincoln is one to mind his own business, but these are two voices he didn’t think he would hear together. He pears over to see Dr. Blake and Raven standing too close.

 

“Let her go” He whispers to Raven. The woman steps closer to Bellamy, hiding her face in his chest.

 

“We have to let her go” Bellamy tells her softly. raven begins to cry and Lincoln decides it’s now to give the two the privacy. He quietly exits the stair well, deciding maybe it’s best to take the elevator.

 

He’s covered in sweat, but he rather not walk in on anyone else making out or something. Lincoln runs right into his boss and Octavia, in the middle of their conversation.

 

“Now of course you’ll know, every time he gets a rise, he’ll think of you” Indra tells her intern. Indra raises her eyebrows at Lincoln and his drenched scrubs but says nothing and walks off.

 

“Do I want to know what that was about?” Lincoln asks Octavia, earning a laugh.

 

“Just a patient” Octavia answers, earning a very confused look form Lincoln.

 

“No, I don’t.” Lincoln answers his own question.

 

“Why do you look like you ran a marathon?” Octavia asks him.

 

“I was doing some conditioning on the stairs” Lincoln explains.

 

“Race you to the bottom!” Octavia jokes, already heading for the stairs.

 

“NO!” Lincoln quickly grabs her elbow, earning a startled look form Octavia. “I mean no, I uh, I got tired and was wondering if maybe you’d join me on the elevator”

 

“I could grace you with my presence” Octavia teases. Lincoln chuckles.

 

“Look I know you’ve had a rough day” Lincoln tells the woman as they reach the elevator.

 

“It’s fine” Octavia waves off, pressing the button for the first floor.

 

“It’s not” Lincoln tells her. “So I got you little gift. it’s in your locker.”

 

The elevator dings on the fourth floor. In enters Raven. Lincoln straightens up when just behind her is Dr. Blake, the two acting like  they don’t even know each other.

 

“Hey lover” Octavia greets Raven. Bellamy’s eyes widen as he steps behind Octavia to the back of the elevator.

 

“That’s not professional O,” He chastises.

 

“Shut up brother” Octavia shoots back to her older sibling, earning a snort from Raven.

 

Lincoln side eyes Bellamy, wondering how he does it. How he can lie so easily. Bellamy feels Lincoln’s eyes on him. He turns to look  at the taller man, but Lincoln returns his attention to Octavia.

 

“Besides Raven and I have already slept together, so wha’t it to you?” Octavia asks her brother. Lincoln knows that the girls literally mean sleep, but Bellamy doesn’t know that so his eyes flash over to Raven.

 

Lincoln wants to laugh, but turns it into a cough. Raven just smirks back at Bellamy.

 

“Lighten up big brother,” Octavia tells him softly. It’s the first time the two Blake’s have actually sounded like siblings.

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s a rare event, when you can watch a full glowing sunset in Seattle. And if there is one thing Clarke loves it’s sunsets, but today? She can’t even bring herself to look at it.

 

She’s changed out of her scrubs, hear head in her hands, thinking about her mother. She doesn’t even have to look up to know the person who has sat next to her is Lexa.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks her softly.

 

“No,” Clarke pulls her hands away form her face to look at Lexa.

 

Lexa nods and doesn’t ask any more questions, she looks out at the sunset.

 

“Can we stop the whole professional thing?” Clarke asks Lexa. She raises an eyebrow at the sunset, then turns to Clarke.

 

“Are you sure?” She asks Clarke.

 

“I miss you” Clarke reveals in a rare moment of vulnerability.

 

“Anything you want Clarke,” Lexa easily agrees, she scoots closer and wraps an arm around Clarke, surprised the the Blonde leans her head into her.

 

“Wanna grab breakfast?” Lexa asks her. Clarke looks up at Lexa.

 

“It’s dinner,” She corrects the woman. Lexa shrugs.

 

“When’s the last time you had a proper breakfast?” The surgeon asks with a challenging raise of her brow.

 

“Sophomore year of high school” Clarke answers easily. They both laugh.

 

“Wanna get out of here?” Lexa offers her hand to Clarke.

 

“Please” Clarke interlaces their fingers and allows Lexa to lead the way. It’s a bit dangerous to be acting this way in front of the  hospital, but no one is around to see. 

 

And in this moment? Clarke doesn’t care who does see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys like it? Let me know  
> Did you hate it? Keep me in blissful ignorance.
> 
> I love hearing what you guys think and it's incentive to post sooner.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Here's to Never Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes a career ending mistake. Octavia throws a party in attempt to get to know Lincoln better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a thank you to everyone who came back to read and comment, I have written a new chapter.
> 
> Again, I do my own editing, so I apologize for the spelling mistakes you will find.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was like, if you’d get a bike for your birthday? Or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated.

 

It’s like when you’re sick and you promise yourself, if you could just be healthy again you promise you will appreciate it. Clarke wishes she could do that. Go back in time and appreciate less complicated times in her life. She promises if her life were ever to return to that state, she would appreciate it.

 

Now, finally, the nursing home taking care of her mother has forced her to come in. Maybe now, they will FINALLY, get everything squared away.

 

“The lawyer has been managing the estate with a limited power of attorney, but your mother’s Alzheimer’s is advancing” The care taker informs Clarke. The blonde’s eyes narrow at the woman. Of course she knows it’s advancing. There is no need to say the words out loud.

 

“So, while she’s still lucid enough to consent, she needs to sign everything over to you,” Clarke saw this coming a mile away. Her mother had no plans because her The Abby Griffin thought herself invincible. She figured she could cheat death, because with her mind and modern medicine advancing at such a fast rate? How could she not. Abbigail Griffin never even thought about the possibility of losing the bit of herself that could save her.

 

“Me?” Clarke asks the woman even though she knew it was coming. The caretaker looks Clarke up and down, judgement pouring out of her.

 

“Look, I haven’t slept in 48 hours. I’m getting my first shot at heart surgery this morning. I’m missing rounds.” Clarke lists off everything with a raspy voice. On top of everything she’s getting sick and losing her voice. 

 

“Are you sure there isn’t anybody here, or the attorney..? I mean, do I really have to be the one to handle this?” Clarke asks. The Caretaker frowns at Clarke.

 

“We’re talking about her estate, her finances, her medical care. You really want to leave her life in someone else’s hands?” The women uses a tone of disdain with Clarke. “She’s your mother.”

 

Clarke crosses her arms and returns the woman hardened gaze.

 

Being and adult blows.

 

 

* * *

 

After a few choice words exchanged with the nursing home and a sit down with her mother just to determine that she was not lucid enough in the moment to sign off on her estate, Clarke chose to bail in time for her to make it to the surgery.

 

She had been surprised when Dr. Bellamy Blake had asked her on the case. Mostly because she didn’t think she had made any sort of impression on the man. But she took the case gladly, much to Raven’s dismay. The woman had been grumpy about it all week. Grumpier than usual.

 

But as Clarke stood there, in the OR, she wanted to feel something. She wanted to feel the overwhelming excitement she thought she would be feeling. She had been looking forward to a surgery like this since Medical school. But all she could feel now was exhaustion.

 

So tired in fact, she finds her eyes closing against her wishes. The blonde sways forward slightly, nearly losing grip on the heart.

 

“Griffin, what was that?” Dr. Blake asks, not looking up from his work.

 

“Sorry, it slipped,” Clarke offers back lamely. The Doctors hands still and he looks up to lock eyes with Clarke.

 

“It’s okay,” He tells her. “I’m done. You can release Mrs. Patterson’s heart now. Very gently. All right. Let’s warm her up. Get her off bypass” Clarke does as her superior asks her and steps away.

 

She wants to take that moment to really soak in the moment. To appreciate it all, and even admire the kind of Doctor Bellamy Blake is, but instead, she’s looking down at her glove, where her nail has poked a hole through the plastic.

 

Up in the observation room, Raven sits, watching the whole surgery with her arms crossed and glaring at the back of Bellamy’s head. Jasper sits there with wide eyed excitement.

 

“I wish I could hold a heart,” Jasper intones dreamily.

 

“A monkey could hold a heart,” Raven snaps at the man, irritated. Jasper furrows his brow and turns to Raven.

 

“You’re mad Blake didn’t ask you,” He uses a teasing tone that Raven clearly doesn’t appreciate.

 

Just then Octavia enters the Observatory Deck eating a bag of chips.

 

“Jordan, we need more ice and chips” Octavia tells him around a mouthful of chips. She takes a seat, draping her ankles over Raven’s knees.

 

The interns were planning a party at the Griffin residence. Or rather Octavia was planning a party and the rest of them were just going along with it because they needed an excuse for booze.

 

See, Octavia had had an awful time last week with one of her patients. Bethany Whisper’s, a lingerie ad she did last year, was released and it made for a shit show at the hospital. That on top of Jasper refusing to buy tampons, which was specifically put on the grocery list, made for a bad time.

 

Then Lincoln had left a gift for her in her locker. Simply to brighten her day. It was a box of tampons with a bow tied around it and a drawing he had done. A really good one at that, of a butterfly, very similar to the one she had tattooed to her hip. It was such a sweet gesture, the younger Blake had no idea what to do with it.

 

Did that mean Lincoln liked her? Or was he just being a nice guy? Octavia was so used to assholes, she isn’t sure what the protocol here is. She felt like she was in high school all over again with all the second guessing. 

 

So what plan did she come up with instead of asking him out? Throwing a party and inviting him. Hoping that maybe the right environment would stir up something between the two. There were definitely easier ways to go about this. But Octavia Blake was anything but easy.

 

“Who else did you invite?” Jasper asks her with wide eyes. They already had enough food and alcohol to feed an army. 

 

“Just some people form Peds,” Octavia shrugs, munching on the chips as if it is no big deal.

 

“You invited the preschoolers to Clarke’s house. The next thing you’ll say is you invited the shrinks,” Raven deadpans. Octavia winces slightly and looks away.

 

“She invited the mental defects.” Raven groans. “This party is D.O.A.”

 

“You know, Clarke thinks this is just going to be a little small, ask-Lincoln-to-hang-out-to lay-down-some-ground-work cocktail thing. Did you clear this with her?” Jasper asks Octavia nervously.

 

“No, but I will,” Octavia assures Jasper. “I promise”

 

“Why are you making this so complicated? Why don’t you just ask the guy out?” Raven asks Octavia seriously “ He probably already wants to bang you. You’re hot. He’s hot. This is just simple math.”

 

“I just want to spend time with him outside of work. No pressure. Just friends hanging out,” Octavia explains. “Plus I don’t think I just want to fuck him. I think I might actually, really like him”

 

Jasper and Raven both turn away from the surgery to look at Octavia seriously.

 

“Shit really?” Raven asks, Octavia nods. “My condolences”

 

“Fuck you,” Octavia laughs, just as Raven’s pager goes off. 

 

“Any time, any place Baby” Raven jokes back, checking her pager and sighing. She gets up just as Lincoln enters.

 

“Hey I heard there was going to be a party at Clarke’s place,” Lincoln notes conversationally. He takes Raven’s seat.

 

Octavia looks over to Raven with wide eyes, begging for help. Raven only offers her a thumbs up before she leaves. Jasper takes this cue to step in.

 

“Shit dude, I dropped the ball. O told me to invite you and I forgot,” Jasper steps in, offering Octavia a wink.

 

“No worries,” Lincoln smiles at Octavia then turns his attention to the surgery.

 

“Need me to bring anything?” Lincoln asks. 

 

“Ice and chips!” Jasper says at the same time Octavia says:

 

“No, you’re a guest, are you kidding?” Octavia glares at Jasper who in turn shrugs and smiles at her innocently.

 

“What’s your favorite kind of chips?” Lincoln asks Octavia.

 

“What?” Octavia blinks a few times, confused.

 

“Your favorite brand? I’m not going to show up to your place empty handed. My momma raised me better than that,” He offers the younger Blake a wink, that if she hadn't been sitting down, would have made her weak in the knees.

 

“How about you bring me your favorite instead?” Octavia flirts back with him. Jasper nods at Octavia and gives her a thumbs up in support when Lincoln isn’t looking.

 

“Deal. Are we losing her or what?”

 

Everyone turns their attention back to the OR, where it seems they are losing the patient. Clarke stands just behind everyone with wide eyes. Watching the whole thing play out.

It goes as far as needing the paddles to bring Mrs. Patterson back. But they do get her back just in time.

 

“Good job everyone!” Dr. Blake calls out to his team.

 

Clarke feels she has done anything but that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke steps out of the scrub room looking even more exhausted, only now she has added a layer of guilt to it all.

 

Jasper, being the loyal friend, waits for her to get to out walk her back to the in-patient floor. They begin to walk in silence.

 

Just then Lexa appears munching on a salad.

 

“Hey, I hear you did a CABG with Blake,” She smiles widely at Clarke, falling in to step with her. Jasper just behind them looking like a lost duckling.

 

“Yeah,” Clarke breathes without much enthusiasm.

 

“Did you get to hold the heart?” Lexa asks between bites of her salad.

 

Clarke doesn’t really feel up to talking with Lexa. Or even flirting. One because Jasper is there to witness it and 2, she really does feel that bad. She really must be getting sick if she doesn't want to flirt with a cute girl.

 

“Yeah,” Clarke uses the same tone as before. Though Jasper does smile behind her, excited for his friend.

“It’s an amazing feeling. You never forget your first time,” Dr. Woods offers with a warm smile.

 

“It was pretty great just to watch,” Jasper butts in to the one sided conversation, stepping past Dr. Woods to press the button for the elevator. “Vicarious thrills, you know?”

 

Lexa looks Jasper up and down, narrowing her eyes at the man with a hint of jealousy.

 

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees for the third time. She’s just plain out of it, there is no more to it.

 

This time Lexa really studies Clarke, a look of concern for the Blonde as she steps in the elevator with Jasper.

 

Lexa stands just outside as the bell dings and the doors begin to close.

 

“See you later,” Lexa calls out to Clarke, brow furrowed.

 

“Bye,” Clarke offers back.

 

Inside the elevator Clarke stands, contemplating every move she made in the surgery. Wondering if maybe she is the reason why Mrs. Patterson’s heart couldn’t restart.

 

Jasper leans against the wall, reading over his notes, a smile playing at his lips. Still feeling high off Clarke’s surgery.

 

 

“I think maybe I did something to the heart when I was holding it,” Clarke speaks the words out loud, and it’s much worse than she imagined. “ I nodded off a little. Squeezed it”

 

“Oh please,” Jasper chuckles, waving off the idea. “The hearts a tough muscle. It could take a squeeze or two”

 

“My finger nail popped the glove,” Clarke continues. Jasper suddenly stands up straight, pocketing his notebook. “Cut straight through. Jasper, what if I punctured Mrs. Patterson’s heart?”

 

Jasper moves to stand next to Clarke, looking straight forward, his face full of apprehension for his friend.

 

“If… If you had punctured it, you would haven known when they reperfused. They got her hear beating. The woman’s okay.” Jasper looks more like he’s trying to convince himself. Clarke bites her lip.

 

“So I shouldn’t tell Blake?” She asks her friend.

 

“Tell him what?” Jasper asks rhetorically “You know, um, nothing happened. I mean, the woman’s okay right?”

 

Clarke hesitates to give her answer.

 

“She’s okay,” She tells him without much conviction.

 

“She’s fine.” Jasper sighs in relief.

 

“She’s fine,” Clarke repeats in a hollow voice.

 

They both continue to stare forward without a word for the rest of the ride.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa still has Clarke on her mind after she watches her disappear through the elevator doors and through her next four patients. The intern assigned to her for the day is Octavia, so she observes Clarke’s friends as she look over the next patient. Octavia has been growing more and more impatient with the man. He is being condescending so Lexa understands, but the girl has to get over it.

 

“How long has your back been hurting you?” Octavia asks, the man is on his side, writhing in pain, as Octavia gently applies pressure to his back.

 

“It’s chronic,” The man tells her impatiently “That means I have it all the time”

 

“I know what chronic means,” Octavia responds through gritted teeth. It’s almost entertaining for Lexa. “What kind of pain are you having?”

 

“Oh man, the pain’s bad. It’s like a thousand samurai warriors stabbing swords into my spine” He groans then adds “I’m allergic to aspirin!” quickly.

 

Octavia looks down at the mans arm, covered in scabs right over injection points. It’s clear he’s had a lucrative drug habit for years. Octavia looks back to meet Lexa’s eyes, but the Doctor offers no help.

 

“So maybe we’ll start you on morphine,” Octavia offers, knowing exactly what response she’s going to get.

 

“The only thing that will work is Demerol, or uh, Dilaudid, shit ton of it. That’ll set me straight” The man tells her, looking at her expectantly.

 

“The standard dos is two” Octavia responds, frustrated.

 

“Did you see that Tom Cruise Samurai movie? Pow pow pow!” The man makes an exaggerated jabbing motion with his arm before writhing in pain again.

 

“We’ll see what we can do for you,” Octavia scoffs, storming out of the room, Lexa just a step behind her.

 

“Exaggerated and overly specific description of his pain, self prescription, pow pow pow? He’s a Dilaudid junkie.” Octavia lists off to her superior. Lexa hums and looks down at her phone hopefully. She had sent a text to Clarke, but it has gone unanswered.

 

“So what do you do?” Lexa asks the intern.

 

“Well you check the database for history, refer to a program, then discharge” Octavia tells Lexa, furrowing her brow at the doctor as if it is the most obvious answer in the world.

 

“After you give him something” Lexa adds.

 

“That’s exactly what he wants!” Octavia protests. This case hits a little too close to home for comfort. Not that she’s going to tell her superior that. Or anyone for that matter.

 

“Junkie or not, you still have to treat his pain as if it were real” Lexa teaches her intern, pocketing her phone only to have her pager go off.

 

“Why?” Octavia really doesn’t like the sound of that.

 

“First rule in pain management” Lexa informs her. “Always err on the side of caution” Lexa is already moving away. “He’s in pain. Start a central line, his veins are shot” Lexa calls out to her intern.

 

Octavia rolls her eyes, watching Lexa disappear down the hallway.

 

 

* * *

 

After Jasper had the talk with Clarke, he was on extra alert for any mistakes. If the daughter of Abbigail Griffin could make a mistake like she did, then who was Jasper to think he couldn’t very well make the very same mistake? Or worse.

 

So when he was assigned as Indra’s intern, he thought he was going to pass out from the amount of stress alone. But sometimes Jasper underestimates himself. They were to work on a patient who had surgery back in 2012 at this very hospital. A woman who would need a bullectomy. She was having trouble breathing and Jasper was proud to say he correctly identified course of action even with Indra’s intense stare directly on him.

 

Jasper was in charge of prepping her, and so far he had taken a liking to Mrs. Drake.

 

“The surgery before was supposed to help, but it never felt right.” She tells Jasper as he prepares her for surgery,

 

“Probably would have been a good idea to quit smoking…” Jasper knows he shouldn’t say anything because it’s something Indra specifically told him not to do. He just doesn’t understand the practicality of not listening to your doctor after undergoing major surgery.

 

“I did!” Mrs. Drake counters indignantly. She glares at Jasper slightly. “Four pack a day habit. Oh, it was hell.” 

 

Jasper is taken aback form the information. Could be that the patient is lying. He’s taught to know that the patient will always lie to you before you get to the truth, but something about Mrs. Drake tells him that she isn’t lying.

 

“Really?” He splutters, trying to find the right words. “Because it looked, I mean, form the damage, we all thought you probably were still smoking”

 

Nurse Maya enters, wheeling in Mrs. Drake bed. Mrs. Drake moves from one to the other, a look of genuine discomfort on her face.

 

“We?” Mrs. Drake scoffs when Jaspers eyes widen “You doctors are a bunch of gossips. I quit cold turkey, I’ll have you know. Five years ago. What do I get for the trouble? Still had to quit my job at the restaurant. But even sitting, it hurt.”

 

“Here you go,” Nurse Maya offers a blanket and adjusts a pillow for the woman.

 

“Thank you dear” Mrs. Drake thanks Maya, then turns to Jasper. “Nobody believed me. They said it was all in my head.” 

 

“Well I’ve seen the scans, believe me, it’s not all in your head” Jasper tells her as Maya preps the bed to move her to Pre-Op.

 

“You’re right about that. Hey come here,” Mrs. Drake beckons Jasper with a curl of her finger. Jasper indulges the woman and leans in close as if she’s about to tell him a secret. “You’re too damn young to be a doctor.” She whispers to him, getting a good laugh out of the intern.

 

"Hey Mrs. Drake,” Jasper calls out to the woman, mimicking her movements from before. “I’m older than I look,”

 

Mrs. Drake grins at the intern.

 

“Do you think this is going to work?” She asks as Nurse Maya begins to wheel her out of the room.

 

“I think it's your best shot,” Jasper offers honestly.

 

“Straight shooter, I like that,” Mrs. Drake waves at Jasper as she is wheeled away.

 

 

* * *

 

Lincoln started off his morning watching a fellow intern succeed in the performing of a CABG. He also got invited to a party by a pretty girl. And he got the last pack of gum from the vending machine. He was having a pretty alright day.

 

His current patient was in for a bowel obstruction. A kind, portly man who’s taken to keeping secrets from Lincoln when regarding his health.

 

“Mr. Sternam, let’s see about getting you out of here today. How are you feeling?” Lincoln asks, moving aside his gown to inspect his sutures. Everything is looking good.

 

“Pretty okay, except I don’t think I ever wanna have a bowel obstruction again.” The man shifts uncomfortably on his bed.

 

“Really? Wow, because we get people in here all the time requesting them.” Lincoln jokes, getting a chuckle out of his patient.

 

“So are you keeping down clear fluids?” He asks, earning a nod. “And my all time favorite question to ask a patient: Have you pooped yet?”

 

“Um, I’m not exactly sure.” That’s exactly what Lincoln expected from his patient. To try and give the right information to get himself out of the hospital sooner.

 

“I think you’d probably know,” Lincoln tells the man seriously “Passed gas?”

 

Sternam hesitates before answering.

 

“Yes,” He looks up at Lincoln who has mastered his scowl.

 

“Okay no. I know I shouldn’t lie. I went to med school,” The man tells Lincoln.

 

“Oh?” Lincoln continues checking the mans vitals.

 

“Yeah, I dropped out my last year. Too many hours and I was staring into the ice-cold eyes of divorce.” Sternam tells him with a sigh.

 

“Wow, what do you do now?” Lincoln asks, his bed side manner has always been pretty good. He just gets too attached sometimes.

 

Octavia chooses this moment to appear at the doorway, she’s holding two salads in her hands. Offering one over to Lincoln, then nodding down the hallway, inviting him to join her.

 

“I do research now. I have a life, a family. No offense…” Sternam looks up at Lincoln wincing.

 

“No worries,” Lincoln laughs at the man. “I’m just one of those guys who believes you can have both” He glances over at Octavia. She smiles, having heard that last part. Mr. Sternam follows Lincoln’s line of sight then grins at his Doctor.

 

“She’s beautiful”The man has the good sense to lower his volume so only Lincoln can hear.

 

“You’re not wrong,” Lincoln agrees.

 

“She your girl?” He asks curiously, his gaze shifting back to Octavia.

 

“Working on that,” Lincoln tells his patient with a wink. “I’ll be back in a few hours Mr. Sternam. I want only good news from you!”

 

Lincoln meets Octavia at the doorway, accepting her offering with a gracious smile.

 

“What were you boys whispering about over there?” Octavia asks the man as they make their way to find a spot to eat their lunch.

 

“Just about this gorgeous doctor working here. You wouldn’t know her” Lincoln teases. Octavia’s cheeks burn with a blush.

 

“You’re really great with your patients,” Octavia compliments the taller man.

 

“Thank you,” Lincoln takes the compliment graciously. He can’t help but admire the short girl standing next to him. She really is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. And that’s in her scrubs!

 

“You’ve got a good case. Wanna trade? I’ve got Woods and we have a junkie we’ve got to give drugs to” Octavia tells Lincoln, finding a few empty seats that over looks the parking lot.

 

  
“Sounds fun, but Woods is not my biggest fan right now” Lincoln tells her.

 

“Impossible!” Octavia sounds scandalized. “Well Woods is being a hard ass about it and It’s getting on my last nerve”

 

“Go easy on her on this case, yeah? It’s a tough subject for her.” Lincoln requests, earning a very confused look from Octavia.

 

“Wait, what. How do you know that?” Octavia asks the man. Lincoln just raises his eyebrows in a ‘wouldn’t-you-like-to-know’ manner.

 

“Oh c’mon, you can’t just say that and not give me something. Literally anything. My curiosity is piqued,” Octavia begs of him. Lincoln simply shakes his head and laughs.

 

“Alright Blake. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. Why is this junkie case gotten so under your skin?” Lincoln notes. He really does pay attention. Octavia opens her mouth a couple times to respond, but can’t find the right words. She huffs, annoyed.

 

Lincoln’s pager decides to go off in this moment.

 

“Damn, gotta go” Lincoln mutters, standing from his chair. He’s nearly devoured the salad already and takes this opportunity to shove the rest into his mouth.

 

“Thanks for lunch” He tells Octavia, already walking away.

 

“I’m not dropping this!” Octavia calls back to him.

 

"Didn't think you were!” Lincoln is already disappearing around the corner.

 

Raven had been doing charts the whole time and Octavia had not even realized it. Raven offers her friend a thumbs up and a couple of crude gestures that are clearly suggesting what she should do with Lincoln in an On-call room.

 

Octavia laughs and rolls her eyes, she’s still got half her salad left, but she better go check on her patients. Luckily she spots her brother approaching.

 

“Hey Bell, want the rest?” She asks him, then notices the coffee in his hand. “or are you okay with just that?”

 

Bellamy looks down at his coffee and back at his sister. It’s clear he’s glad his sister is talking to him in public now.

 

“Oh this is not for-“ His eyes flicker over to Raven. Then he shakes his head and corrects himself. “Yeah, I’ll have the salad” 

 

Octavia hands the salad over to Bellamy’s free hand and nearly skips down the hallway. He watches the sight with a warm smile on his face. He looks down at the coffee and remembers what he was doing.

 

He stops briefly at the station where Raven is working on her charts. Raven looks up at him suspiciously. Then he places the coffee in front of her. Raven looks at it as if she’s not sure what she’s supposed to do with it.

 

“It’s just coffee,” Bellamy explains quickly, shifting the left over salad his sister gave him to both hands rather than one.

 

“Good,” Raven nods at him, still confused.

 

“Okay,” Bellamy takes a bite out of his salad and begins to walk away.

 

“Okay.” Raven echoes, but then takes a sip. Bellamy pauses to watch her drink form the coffee for just a moment before continuing on his way, eating away at the salad.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jasper’s beginning to think he’s going to get hives from all of the mistakes. And he’s only witnessed them. None of them are actually his own!

 

Getting to sit in on a procedure Indra and Chief Kane, which was already cool as it was because, hello? The Chief and one of the most bad ass surgeons working together? How cool is that? They were simply supposed to deflate the bullae, which was supposedly the thing causing Mrs. Drake’s obstruction, but once they were in there, the procedure took a turn for the weird.

 

Jasper got to watch Chief Kane open up the patient and use a rib spreader to remove a towel! A towel that could have only been left behind from her surgery 5 years ago!

 

“A towel?” Raven gasps in surprise. Dr. Indra had immediately paged her when they got out of the OR. Now she was keeping step with Jasper, following a very unhappy Chief Kane and Indra.

 

“Not good” Kane mutters.

 

“She complained about pressure on her chest. Said nobody took her seriously,” Jasper lets them all know. The chief looks back at Jasper who withers under his stare.

 

“Not good for the patient, not good for the hospital. Not good” Chief Kane looks like he’s going to have an aneurysm for the stress.

 

“Raven, hit the files. Find out everything you can about that initial operation. Who was in that room, who was responsible for closing. Jasper, you stay with the patient. Keep her happy, she seems to like you” Indra instructs her interns.

 

Chief Kane takes off towards his office, while Indra continues towards the stairwell, they stop at the door.

  
“Right okay,” Jasper agrees, shifting uncomfortably on his feet before continuing “Um, how long do you think, i mean, just technically, I'm off at 6:00”

 

“Am I invited?” Indra asks suddenly, causing both interns eyes to bug out of their heads in surprise.

 

“Excuse me?" Jasper stutters.

 

“Am I invited to the party?” Indra focuses her eyes on Jasper.

 

“Oh! Well, yeah, yes, yeah. Of course!” Jasper nods his head enthusiastically at the woman. Indra looks him up and down, unimpressed, before turning on her heel and taking to the stairwell.

 

Raven turns to Jasper and gawks at him.

 

“What was I supposed to say?” Jasper asks her indignantly.

 

“Ugh!” Raven throws up her hands in frustration and storms off.

 

She heads straight for a computer, doing exactly what Indra asked of her. Searching through the database to look who was the idiot that left a towel inside their patient.

 

After just a few clicks, she finds the idiot: Dr. Bellamy Blake.

 

She’s unsure of what to do with this information. She prints out the report and sits at the computer for a moment, staring at the home screen.

 

That’s when Octavia takes a seat next to her.

 

“Hey gorgeous,” Octavia greets Raven with her usual smile.

 

“Hey there pretty lady,” Raven smiles back, glad that she can have a friend like Octavia to even briefly take her mind off of things.

 

Octavia immediately becomes consumed with her own work, ignoring Raven almost completely. Which she is glad for, because she’s not doing much of anything.

 

Thats when Lexa comes storming over, nostrils flared with anger. Octavia however doesn’t even flinch, like she had been anticipating the Doctor. Raven can’t help but admit, it’s pretty ballsy of the younger Blake.

 

“When I tell you to start a central line, you start a central line. No judgement, no question.” Lexa barks at Octavia who doesn’t look the least bit guilty.

 

“The guys been in seven hospital the last four months. He’s a major addict,” Octavia tells Dr. Woods flatly.

 

“The patient has a three lumbar fusion,” Lexa snaps at her intern.

 

“He’s a junkie, I mean we shouldn’t be giving him-” Octavia tries to dismiss what her boss is saying, Raven watches the whole interaction with a raised brow.

 

“-Yeah! He’s an addict! But his pain is real. Now, lose the attitude and get down there, start a central line” Lexa literally points down the hallway and doesn’t move until Octavia sighs and trudges off.

 

Leaving Lexa and Raven both at the nurses station. 

 

“What?” Lexa asks the intern when she’s felt her gaze on her for too long.

 

“Nothing.” Raven shakes her head and looks away, but now Lexa is looking at her.

 

“What?” Raven asks this time.

 

“Nothing,” Lexa huffs then walks away. She wanted to ask Reyes how Clarke was doing, but she felt it was inappropriate and she just knew Clarke wouldn’t appreciate it, so she decides to go look for her on her own.

 

Lexa finds her hunched over a counter working on a file. She leans over said counter to get Clarke’s attention. The blonde looks up distractedly and smiles, before returning to her work.

 

“You okay?” Lexa asks her. Clarke looks up again.

 

“Hmm? Yeah, CABG was long” Is all Clarke offers as explanation.Lexa looks around, a little frustrated. When she sees no one is around or looking she takes Clarke by the hand and drags her into the on-call room.

 

“I have charts to fill out,” Clarke complains, but lets herself be dragged into the room. Lexa takes her gently by the shoulder and moves her to the bed.

 

“Sit back. Take a breath. Your charts will be there after a well deserved nap,” Lexa tells her, staring Clarke down until she lies back on the bed.

 

“Can you,” Clarke begins, flustered, “I mean, will you… Do you mind laying down with me?”

 

Lexa smiles at Clarke with a sort of adoration the blonde isn’t used to.

 

“Of course Clarke,” Lexa agrees, locking the door before climbing into the bed next to her.

 

Clarke isn't sure why she even asked Lexa. She’s not one to be this sort of clingy, but for some reason, today she needs this kind of human interaction. Clarke becomes bold and curls into Lexa, melting into the Doctor when she wraps her arm around the blonde, pulling her in close.

 

“Let me take you out to dinner tonight,” Lexa takes this moment to ask Clarke. “You can tell me all about the CABG. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket,”

 

“I can’t” Clarke hums, her eyes already drooping, she hasn’t felt this comfortable in a long time.

 

“Forget about the party.” Lexa counters.

 

“You know about the party?” Clarke asks her hazily. She’s going to kill her roommates. This was supposed to be a low key thing. For Octavia.

 

“Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else,” Lexa offers and as tempting as it is for Clarke. She’s loyal to her friends.

 

“How do you know about the party?” Clarke asks instead of giving Lexa an answer.

 

“Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good.” Lexa teases. “Dinner, think about dinner, perfect opportunity to make it up to me”

 

Clarke rolls her eyes, but already, she’s falling asleep.

 

“Come to the party” Clarke says it before she even thinks about it.

 

“Too many people,” Lexa shakes her head “If you weren’t so tired, you wouldn’t be offering it”

 

The only thought that crosses Clarke’s mind right now, in this moment, laying next to Lexa is: Why the fuck not? What is she so afraid of? 

 

“You know what? No. I want you to come to the party. I really do! And maybe if you’re good, I’ll sneak you up to my room” Clarke teases. Instead of answering though, Lexa runs a soothing hand over Clarke’s back, lulling her to sleep.

 

Clarke’s pager goes off not three minutes later, causing her to shoot up out of the bed.

 

“I gotta go!” She exclaims quickly, the page is for Mrs. Patterson. Last time she checked on her, she wasn’t exactly doing great. What if it was her fault.

 

“Wait Clarke!” Lexa tries to slow the woman down, but she’s already out the door.

 

“Dammit!” Lexa heaves a sigh, running her arm over the warmth Clarke left behind.

 

Clarke arrives only a few moments before Bellamy does and no one, not even the nurses can figure out what is wrong with Mrs. Patterson. Mr. Patterson watches the whole thing, terrified.

 

“What were her last counts?” Blake asks Clarke.

 

“Everything was stable,” Clarke recounts.

 

“Is she going to die?” Dr. Patterson asks, Clarke looks to him then at a nurse.

 

“Someone please get him out of here,” She asks of the nurses, but no one moves to do so.

 

“What the hell happened?” Blake mutters ready to move Mrs. Patterson to the OR. “LET’S MOVE!”

 

“I pooped a glove,” Clarke announces suddenly, all eyes turning to her, even though her volume had been low.

 

“What?” Blake asks, unsure if he had heard the intern correctly.

 

“In surgery, when I was holding it, I pooped a glove with my fingernail. I think I may have nicked the heart,” Clarke explains. Dr. Blake’s eyes flash with fury at Clarke, but instead of saying anything to her, he calls out to everyone.

 

“LET’S MOVE PEOPLE!”

 

“What were you thinking about?” Blake barks at Clarke in the OR. She’s to stand off to the side in the OR, not placing even a pinky on the patient. “You had evert opportunity to speak up before I closed her chest. Every opportunity. Suction!”

 

Blake works on the heart meticulously while still being able to berate Clarke. It’s talent, really.

 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke apologizes, arms crossed, watching the whole thing with concern.

 

“And then going to confess in front of her husband? You don’t even know if you were the cause. You have no ida!” Bellamy growls at her.

 

“I’m sorry,”Clarke apologizes again.

 

“There. Over here,” Bellamy has found the source of the problem. He motions for Clarke to move forward. She does so carefully. “Look at the wall rupture. That’s a hell of a lot more than a fingernail. Her ventricular wall was weak.”

 

Chief Kane storms in at this precise moment, looking angrier than anyone has ever seen him.

 

“I just had a conversation with Mr. Patterson.” He looks directly at Bellamy. “I want copies of his wife's chart in my office by 5:00. Tomorrow morning, the two of you are going to meet with me and legal and you better damn well be able to explain what happened here” His eyes only briefly meet with Clarke’s before he turns around.

 

“People poking holes in hearts, leaving towels in people,” He mutters as he leaves the OR.

 

“You’re going to go back and talk to the husband. Review the history,” Blake tells Clarke. “Apologize profusely. Your ass is on the line here, Dr. Griffin” Clarke nods, but does move. “GO!” He barks, literally dismissing the intern.

 

Clarke immediately rushes off to look through all of Mrs. Patterson’s charts. Jasper and Raven join her on their little time for a break.

 

“You got called before the chief?” Jasper asks, nervous for his friend. He and Clarke are looking through all off Mrs. Patterson’s files. Raven is sprawled across a chair, nearly falling asleep.

 

“Tomorrow morning. I could get kicked out of the program” She looks to her friends. Jasper’s eyes widen while Raven looks at her, bored. “I could, right?”

 

“You’re not getting kicked out,” Jasper says, unconvinced.

 

“Patterson’s just going to sue,” Raven waves it off like it’s no big deal.

 

“Patterson is not going to sue and you are not getting kicked out!” Jasper assures Clarek before throwing a glare at Raven.

 

“What the hell were you thinking? Telling Blake. So stupid,” Raven mutters. Truth of the matter, she is not worried for her friend because she has that little bit of information on Blake leaving a towel in his patient. And even though they are sleeping together and… doing whatever it is they are doing, she’s willing to throw it all away to black mail Blake into not getting Clarke fired.

 

Clarke’s phone rings. It’s the nursing home.

 

“I told her not to” Jasper interjects as Clarke hops off the bed they had been using as a research table and rushes off to take the phone call.

 

“I gotta take this. Thanks, very comforting Reyes,” She glares as she passes Raven who only shrugs.

 

She passes Octavia, full of banana’s, coffee, granola bars, you name it, she’s got it, heading towards her friends. She offers Clarke a sympathetic smile, but the blond is too busy on the phone.

 

“Ok so the beer is coming at 7:00 and some of the floor nurses are bringing wine.” Octavia tells them excitedly, taking a seat next to Raven.

 

“You invited nurses?” Raven groans, Octavia is beginning to regret the seat she chose.

 

“Did you clear this with Clarke?” Jasper asks Octavia. The younger Blake rolls her eyes.

 

“A few more people isn’t going to make a difference. A party’s a party” Octavia tells him.

 

“And the bigger the party, the “less of a chance you’ll get Lincoln alone to yourself. He’s a got commodity around here. I’ve heard the nurses whisper,” Raven tells her friend, taking a large bite out of the banana Octavia brought.

 

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side,” Octavia elbows her friend.

 

“I’m on no ones side” Raven shakes her head.

 

“Shut up, you love us,” Jasper argues with his friend. Raven settles him with a glare that his him promptly looking away.

 

“So what?” Raven counters. “I’m just saying, you gotta move in on that. We’re doctors we have no life, might as well get a good lay out of it.”

 

“We have lives!” Octavia reproaches. “We’re not just a bunch of… workaholics with God complexes. I can have a party, have sex with Lincoln, and still be a good doctor”

 

“As long as you clear it with Clarke” Jasper hums, earning glares from both of his friends.

 

“We are workaholics with God Complexes. That is literally how you define surgeons” Raven dead pans.

 

Meanwhile, Clarke is dealing with real stuff on the phone.

 

“And the notary can be there at 6:30 too? And themes physic will be there to a test to her metal competency. Okay anything else I need other than my license and my check book? I’ll be there” Clarke hand sup her phone, taking her face in her hand.

 

What she doesn’t see is Lexa approaching from behins.

 

“”I heard,” She tells the blonde solemnly. Clarke immediately straightens and looks to Lexa with ida eyes.

 

“It’s a notary thing” Clarke explains “A thing to get notarized” Lexa furrows her brow and shakes her head.

 

“I’m talking about the heart thing. Do you wan to talk about it? Lexa asks gently, leaning against the railing with Clarke.

 

Clarke shakes her head and already starts walking off.

 

“We’re adults!” Clarke calls out to Lexa, turning around, she begins to walk backwards. “When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?”

 

Lexa watches Clarke, concern lacing her every feature.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Octavia has completed almost all of her work. She’s ready to unwind at the party of her creation. She’s just got one more stop. Mr Frost, the Junkie.

 

The man looks as comfortable as ever, no hint that he ever had any pain at all. In face, he looks like he’s just spent a day at the spa.

 

“You don’t like me very much, do you Dr. Blake?” The man asks Octavia, who had really been hoping she didn’t have to exchange any small talk with the man.

 

“Nothing to do with you personally, Jerry” Octavia tells him, going over to write in his chart. “Just people like you.”

 

Dr. Woods enters, happy to see this patient has been taken care of. 

 

“How we doing Mr. Frost?” Lexa asks, checking over his vitals.

 

“Doing great doc. My pains at about… a 3” He tells his doctor.

 

“That’s excellent” Lexa enthuses. I’m glad we were able to help you out Mr. Frost. As well as County, Mercy West, Seattle Pres., a lot of people helped you out, Jerry. Peased we could do out part. Who’s on discharge today Dr. Blake?” 

 

Mr. Frost sits up slightly, looking alarmed.

 

“Lincoln Reid,” Octavia provides the information quickly, earning a side eye from Dr. Woods.

 

“Mr Forst, Dr. Reid is going to come in here and discharge you” Lexa tells the man. Octavia smiles at this, though she doesn’t let her superior see it.

 

“Woah, you can't discharge me.” Jerry argues. “I’m in pain!”

 

“You WERE in pain” Lexa emphasizes. “Now you are not. Dr. Blake is going to recommend some wonderful treatment programs for you. Go home. Get some help” Lexa finally allows her annoyance to show.

 

“You can’t just do that!” Mr. Frost sits up petulantly. But Dr. Woods has already left.

 

“She just did, my friend” Octavia smirks at the man.

 

Lexa makes her way to look for Lincoln. She finds him in a room, looking over his patient.

 

“Any luck yet?” Lincoln asks. Mr. Sternam looks sad to disappoint.

 

“Nada” He breathes, earning a shake of the head from Lincoln.

 

“Looks like you’ll have to spend another night” Lincoln gives him the bad news.

 

“Damn. Will you at least be getting to of here for that part?” Mr. Sternam asks.

 

“You’re the last one on my list, so I think so” Lincoln grins at the man.

 

“So Doctors do have lives?” The man tears his doctor. Lexa hates to throw a wrench in Lincoln’s plans, but she has to step in.

 

“Sorry to interrupt. Dr. Reid, discharge my guy in 342” Lexa tells Lincoln. Lincoln nods, but as soon as Dr. Woods is out of ear shot, he sighs.

 

“Guess not” Mr. Sternam adds.

 

“It’s a discharge, it won’t take long” Lincoln counters. But Mr. Sternam is right, this could take a while.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Clarke has had so much rolling around in her head lately, she might just lose her mind. Especially after being stuck in traffic for so long.

 

Finally she has made it to the nursing home just in time. The caretaker approaches her.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late” Clarke apologizes, rushing over to where she spots her mother. “Traffic was terrible.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, dear” The caretaker tells her.

 

“Don’t tell me the notary didn’t show!” Clarke sighs, already growing impatient with the situation.

 

“Oh, everybody is here” The caretaker corrects “Your mother however? Isn’t.”

 

Abby sits upon a chair, with that same impatient scowl Clarke knows so well. Rigid posture. Arms crossed. It’s almost as bad as the time Clarke told her mother she would be taking a year off.

 

“Mom?” Clarke gets to her mothers eye level.

 

“What do you people want from me?” Abby snaps at her daughter as if she’s a stranger.

 

“We need you to sign the lawyers papers” Clarke tells her mother gently, but Abby turns her head away in disgust.

 

“I have a cranial reconstruction in a half hour. I need to go” She tells Clarke without even looking at her.

 

“Okay mom, we’re all here.” Clarke breathes. “We have a notary. I need you to focus. And I need you to sign these papers.” Abby doesn’t move “Mom, look at me!”

 

“It’s an emergency surgery. I don’t have time for this,” Abby tells her impatiently.

 

“She can’t sign anything now. She’s sun downing. We should have done this earlier in the day” The caretaker tells her in an exasperated tone.

 

“I couldn’t come earlier in the day” Clarke turns to her furiously “I have a job and a life. And I’m here now!” Clarke nearly stomps her foot.

 

“Well, you’re going to have to come back tomorrow when she’s lucid” The caretaker offers.

 

“You know, why did she put this off for so long? And why did you let her?” She turns to the lawyer. “Doesn’t it strike you as slightly irresponsible? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you people?” Clarke raises her voice, when no one answers her, she huffs and storms out.

 

The last thing Clarke expects when she pulls up to her house, is to find it littered with Seattle Grace employees various states of intoxication.

 

She’s about to be furious, but decides to just roll with it. There’s going to be booze. Her friends are here. Why not drink her sorrows away for she may not have a job tomorrow.

 

As soon as she enters, she finds Raven, on top of her coffee table, dancing alone, with a beer in her hand.

 

“BABY YOU MADE IT!!!” Raven calls out to Clarke.

 

“I made it!!!” Clarke calls out, spotting Jasper, he looks momentarily scared, until Clarke pulls the bottle of tequila out of his hand and takes one long, burning gulp from it. She joins Raven on the table, drink in hand.

 

“Jasper come here!!!” Raven calls out to him. he shakes his head at the women, but the sight of them dancing together seems to be enough to sway him to join them.

 

Back at the hospital, it takes Lincoln, Octavia, and Lincoln to persuade Mr. Frost to leave the hospital. He leaves with a pained and dazed expression on his face, clutching onto pamphlets for treatment centers tightly in his hand.

 

“Maybe this is his way out of the hole,” Octavia breathes as they watch the man walk out of the hospital.

 

“The hole? That’s an interesting expression,” Lexa notes. Lincoln and Lexa both look to Octavia, but she stares straight ahead.

 

“My father was into smack pretty heavy,” Octavia reveals reluctantly. “He was a musician. It’s tolerated in his line of work, not good for the family at home.”

 

She says it almost like it’s normal. That’s because it was her normal. Lincoln and Lexa both exchange a look.

 

 

“My older brother is in an out of programs. He’s a vet. Came back from Iraq pretty messed up. Hasn’t been able to recover” Lexa also shares this bit of information. Lincoln looks at both reserved women with wide eyes, he never expected them to reveal this much about themselves to each other.

 

Lexa places a hand on Octavia’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

 

“Good job today Blake”Shetells her, before walking off.

 

“I heard about this party” Lincoln begins after bit of silence. He just knows she won’t want to talk about it. “Want to go check it out?”

 

Octavia smiles up at the man gratefully and agrees with a nod.

 

Back at the Griffin residence, Clarke has ten her two friends to her mothers study to play strip poker. All three of them are more intoxicated than any of them thought they would get.

 

“Why did we become surgeons anyway?” Clarke asks, she always get philosophical at this stage of drinking. Raven burps loudly, licking her two cars before sticking them to her face.

 

“Surgery is very seizures business” Jasper slurs, then grins when Clarke turns a card over. “FULL HOUSE!” He cheers. Raven gives him an evil laugh.

 

“Royal flush, get naked bay boy!” She removes her card from her face to show them, she indeed has a royal flush. Jasper looks down, noticing that he is in boxers. His only choice now is to remove his shirt.

 

He stands and does a strip tease for the girls, but he's so drunk, it’s not exactly good.

 

“Ohh so sexy!!!” Raven sings in encouragement to her friend, while Clarke takes the cards in his hand and throws them at Jasper as if they are dollar bills.

 

“Surgery is stupid” Clarke finally huffs when the strip tease is over. Raven gapes at her friend and tears the bottle out of her hand.

 

“Give me that. You’re drunk.” Raven snaps at her friend.

 

“I’m not driving. I’m not on call. I’m in my own house. My life is crap. And it’s my party and I’ll get drunk if I want to” Clarke sings the last part to the tune of the song.

 

“O!!!!!!!” Jasper cheers, arms in the air when Lincoln and her find them in the study.

 

“And Lincoln!!” Clarke cheers “Have you ever noticed that height difference?”

 

Lincoln and Octavia laugh at their intoxicated friends.

 

“You two would make gorgeous babies” Raven breathes in awe, as if the realization had just occurred to her.

 

“Okay, I need to get on their level,” Lincoln laughs, removing his jacket and tossing it on a chair before joining Clarke on the ground. Octavia momentarily frowns, but the man pats the empty space next to him, asking her to join him.

 

“You’re not mad that the part got… a little out of hand?” Octavia asks Clarke, taking the bottle of tequila from Raven. The party raves on around them, but they seem to be having fin with just their usual crowd.

 

“I can’t be mad at that face!” Clarke slurs, leaning over Lincolns lap to tap Octavia on the nose. “I loooooove you Octavia!” Before the words can register, with the girl, she gives Octavia a peck on the lips, leaving the short brunette in a state of shock. Lincoln guffaws with laughter.

 

“How do you feel about Raven, Clarke?” Lincoln asks, earning a questioning look form Octavia “It’s are only chance to find out how much she really loves us. Her and Raven are all dark and twisty on the inside, they’ll never admit any of this sober” He explains to her.

 

“Good point!” Octavia nods, waiting for the blonds response. She’s staring at Raven with a hard look of concentration.

 

“Raven is so smart and like so pretty. I mean, look at her!” Clarke enthuses.

 

“No you’re pretty!” Raven points at Clarke, touched by the words.

 

“No you are! And like, I think she might be the best in our year.I love you Raven!”

 

“I love YOU!” Raven cals back to Clarke, crawling over to the blonde so they can hug it out.

 

“Oh god, they’re actually really emotional people” Octavia laughs, taking a swig out of the bottle. She grimaces at the burning down her thorax then hands it off to Lincoln.

 

“You guys are my best friends!” Raven turns to them. Jasper has fallen asleep in a precarious position on the couch, clad only in boxers. “Seriously, I’ve never really had friends”

 

“Can’t imagine why” Octavia mumbles, earning an elbow from Lincoln.

 

“And you guys are like my family. I love you guys!” Raven looks like she’s about to burst into tears, but suddenly the song changes to Despacito and her eyes widen.

 

“This is my song!” She cheers, getting to her feet and pulling both Octavia and Clarke to join her. “It’s the versions with Bieber too!!!” She looks so excited about this.

 

The three women begin to dance right there in the room. Lincoln pulls out his phone, deciding it’s a good idea to have record of this as he drinks away at the tequila.

 

 

* * *

 

Later Clarke finds herself wandering outside, a bottle of tequila in hand.

 

Lexa watches her from her car, admiring as Clarke sways to the music. She hasn’t noticed her yet.

 

“You know in some states you can be arrested for that,” Lexa calls out to Clarke. The blonde’s eyes widen at the voice, then a soft smile appears.

 

“So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila” Lexa teases as Clarke puts down the bottle and makes her way towards her. “Tequila’s no good for you. It doesn’t call. Doesn’t write. Not nearly enough fun to wake up to”

 

Clarke steps in close to Lexa, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips slowly.

 

“Take me for a ride Lexa” Clarke hums against Lexa lips.

 

“You’re drunk” Lexa laughs, taking the kiss slow. Clarke pulls away to look at Lexa.

 

“A little bit. But I’m still me. You’re still hot. I still want you. I always want you” Clarke whines slightly against Lexa’slips.

 

The doctor grans in frustration.

 

“Why do you have to be drunk. We can’t do anything if you’re drunk”

 

“Says who?” Clarke pouts.

 

“Says consent” Lexa tells her seriously.

 

“I am consenting” Clarke tugs Lexa towards her car, opening the back seat.

 

“Clarke” Lexa protests.

 

“Please,” Clarke pouts, taking a seat and tugging Lexa to her. She pulls her in, effectively bringing the brunette on top of her. Lexa quickly reaches back to tug her door closed.

 

“Clarke, you’ll regret this” Lexa tells her, placing a soft kiss to her neck.

 

“I have never once regretted sleeping with you” Clarke tells her seriously.

 

“We only did it the one time” Lexa laughs, hiding her face in Clarke’s neck. Clarke begins to remove the doctors blouse.

 

“And I did not regret it one bit” Clarke tells her.

 

“Even after you found out I was your boss?” Lexa furrows her brow.

 

“It complicated things, sure” Clarke agrees “But regret? Never.”

 

Lexa moves her lips back to Clarke’s, kissing her slowly, but Clarke doesn’t want that pace. She keens her hip forward into Lexa, trying to create some sort of friction.

 

“Touch me Lexa” Clarke breathes against her lips, the blonde is already working her way to unbutton Lexa’s pants.

 

“Clarke…” Lexa complains.

 

“You know, it sounds like the party’s winding down.Listen to me, we could sneak inside, I can take care of you.” Lexa offers.

 

“We’ve done enough sneaking. We can just walk right in. It was good sneaking, but enough” Clarke doesn’t slow her pace though.

 

“Yeah, I’d say we’re pretty good sneakers” Lexa agrees with a laugh, then gasps when Clarke finally sneaks her hand through Lexa’s pants. Lexa cant’ take the teasing much longer so she reciprocates Clarke’s actions, but just then, there is a tapping on her window, halting both women.

 

“You mind moving this tail wagon?” It’s Indra, glaring at both women.. “You’re blocking me in”

 

“Apparently not good enough” Lexa sighs, hiding her face in Clarke’s neck briefly.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next morning finds Clarke and Raven cuddled up against each other on the couch. The house is in various states of disarray. How could a slew of professional make as much of a mess as a college rager?

 

Jasper enters holding a mug in each hand. 

 

“Brought the twisted sisters some coffee” He mumbles handing Raven the first mug, then the next to Clarke. They sit up, but still somehow managed to be cuddled up together like a couple.

 

“Where’s Octavia?” Jasper asks, taking a seat, hunching over the arm rest slightly. He’s looking a little green. Neither woman answer.

 

“What time is your meeting with the chief?” Raven asks instead, looking into her cup of coffee reverantly.

 

“In an hour” Clarke sighs, glancing at her watch.

 

Octavia enters the house, she looks around, shocked.

 

“Holy mother of destruction,” Octavia breathes, grimacing at the looks of the house.

 

“You missed Doctor-palooza” Clarke tells her remorsefully. Her three friends turn to look at her.

 

“No I didn’t. “ Octavia tells her carefully.

 

“I, I don’t remember that bit of the night” Clarke tells them honestly.

 

“Pretty sure Lincoln recorded it, no worries.” Octavia tells him.

 

“Perfect,” Clarke mutters, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

“So you doing the walk of shame or what?” Raven asks, her tone wants to convey teasing, but she feels dead inside.

 

“No. Lincoln and I were in no state to drive last night. So we walked around all night. It was nice.” Octavia smiles dreamily 

 

“Boo” Raven groans at her friend 

 

“He’s waiting outside for you, if you want a ride home. You never he moved in to your spare room.” Octavia lets her know.

 

“He did like two weeks ago,” Raven frowns, then stands. “Bye bitches, it’s been real”

 

Octavia takes the empty seat next to Clarke.

 

“I should probably never speak to you again” Clarke mutters to her small friend.

 

“Ugh, I’m sorry Grif, I had no idea it was gonna get so…” Octavia gestures around the house.

 

“It’s okay. Really, I don’t care. What would i be doing anyway?” Clarkea asks her, setting down her coffee next to one of the beers on the table.

 

“Preparing for your career-altering meeting?” Jasper peeks from over the arm rest to see both women glaring at him. “Sorry”.

 

“The hear wall shouldn’t have torn,” Clarke mumbles to himself, still trying to figure out what went wrong. Only it’s harder now that she’s hungover.

 

Octavia bites her lip, trying to help out her friend, she reaches over for the beer next to Clarke’s coffee and takes a sip from it gingerly. Jasper furrows her brow at her, looking disgusted.

 

“Anything in the patients history?” Octavia asks the blonde.

 

“Husband says she was in the best shape of her life. She lost 100 pounds last year” Clarke tells her, losing hope. Octavia furrows her brow and takes another sip.

 

“100 pounds? Hows her muscle mass?” She’s about to take yet another sip when Jasper’s words stop her.

 

“Do you even know who’s that was?” He asks her.

 

“I’m hoping it was yours,” She tells the man who slowly shakes his head and slumps over the arm rest, looking like he’s going to be sick.

 

“No,” He moans, disgusted.

 

Octavia shrugs, no big deal.

 

They all decide it’s best to get ready for work and deal with the mess later. Which Octavia and Jasper so generously volunteered to be clean up for.

 

Clarke had never been more nervous for anything in her life, but she took a deep breath and enters the Chiefs office.

 

Lincoln, Octavia, Jasper, and Raven all waited to hear the verdict just a few meters away.

 

“What do you think?” Octavia asks her friend nervously.

 

“50 says Clarke gets tossed out on her ass and Blake walks away clean.” Raven mutters.

 

“Play nice,” Lincoln warns.

 

“No, she’s right.” Octavia mutters glaring at her brother. Just when she was thinking they could get on the same page, he pulls this kind of shit. He always gets away with everything and she’s tired of it.

“Guys please,” Jasper shushes them as if there is any possible way he could hear him through the glass office and at this distance.

 

Inside the office, Clarke sits before a very serious Chief Kane. Next to her as nasty lawyer. And being her out of harms way? Dr. Blake.

 

“So, I have done a lot of research on this and Dr. Blake has been kind enough to help me. And I understand my responsibility, and what I’ve done wrong here. However, I do think the patient history is significant in this case.” Clarke tells them, Kane begins stroking his beard, contemplating everything Clarke is saying. The blonde continues “She still weighs 200 pounds, which is why no one even noticed it, but with that kind of weight drop, it doesn’t matter how much you weight, technically, you’r anorexic”

 

“So along with all that fat, she was losing muscle” Dr. Blake adds. “heart muscle”

 

“That certainly should be a reason for a small poke to become a large tear” Chief Kane agrees slowly.

 

“That still doesn't change the fact that the small poke wasn’t reported by Dr. Grey at the time of occurrence” The Lawyer argues.

 

“And if I could change that…” Clarke interjects.

 

“And you can’t, but you’ve left yourself and the hospital to a tremendous amount of liability” The lawyer shakes her head. In her mind, the decision has been made.

 

“No not of the patient’s weight loss caused the problem,” Blake sits up in his chair, peril over to look at the lawyer.

 

“I’m sorry, I have no choice here,” the lawyer doesn’t let Bellamy continue.

 

“I’ve spoken to the husband. And I believe as long as his wife remains stable-” The lawyer cuts Bellamy off.

 

“I can’t take your beliefs to the bank, Dr. Blake. Dr Griffin made a huge error.” The woman will not look at the evidence presented to her.

 

“And she reported it!” Blake stands from his chair and looks to Chief Kane this time

 

“Too late. And in front of the husband” The lawyer continues but Bellamy doesn’t listen to her.

 

“But she reported it,” Bellamy grits his teeth. “She spoke up.”

 

He takes pause and a deep breath. “I spoke to Dr. Indra. Five years ago as a CT fellow, I had a nagging feeling that I didn’t check the body cavity of a lung patient closely enough before I closed. The patient seemed fine post-op and I was in a hurry.Yesterday you and Dr. Indra pulled a towel out from under a patients lung”

 

Clarke makes no move to show any reaction at this information. Why is Bellamy going out of his way, putting his career on the line to save Clarke’s?

 

“Why didn’t i report it at the appropriate time? Maybe because I was afraid that i would be called into a meeting with some hospital lawyer” Bellamy spits the word out at the woman sitting next to Clarke. “Who’s fear of liability would cause me my career. Even great doctors make mistakes. And when we do, we’ve got to have a chance to be bale to speak up without fear of retribution. Or everyone suffers. Dr. Griffin spoke up.”

 

A few moments later, Clarke steps out of Chief Kane’s office.

 

Lexa, just outside the door stops her.

 

“You okay?” She asks her, concerned.

 

“I’m fine, one month probation” Clarke breathes with a wide grin. Lexa grins back.

 

“Later,” Lexa promises, then allows Clare to continue to her friends.

 

She approaches her friends, their faces full of anticipation.

 

“Blake saved my ass in there,” She tells them, looking specifically to Octavia. The woman looks over Clarke’s shoulder to lock eyes with her brother, just now stepping out of the Chief’s office.

 

‘Thank you’ Octavia mouths at her brother. He winks in response.

 

“Don’t you all have something better to do.? C’mon people, move!” Indra barks at her interns. They all begin to go back to work, but Indra takes a hold of Raven’s elbow. Raven had been bugging her the previous day about details and asking when they were going to say anything about it. Indra told her to be patient. This is why.

 

“He was always going to tell them about the towel. Just wanted to wait for the right time. Information is power.” Indra tells her intern. Indra walks off. 

 

Raven looks over to Bellamy. He’s trying his scrub cap on his head. It holds stars and constellations on it. He favors this scrub cam over the others, Raven has noticed. Bellamy meets her eyes and smiles.

 

* * *

 

Finally Clarke, after the terrible week she’s had, is able to come into her mothers nursing home. Her mother is lucid.

 

With a quick scribble, Abbigail Griffin has signed away her estate to Clarke.

 

Clarke thought it would come with another weight to carry on her shoulders. Instead, it lifts one.

 

It almost feels as if, with the signing of her mothers estate, she can move forward. With her friends. With her life. With her job. And with Lexa.

 

While being an adult sucks. It comes with it’s perks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Should I keep this going?


End file.
